Should You Vouch For Anyone

Good day peoples. It's been a long minute since I last graced you with my thoughts. I'm back now so here goes:

Do you know the difference between a "friend of mine" and a "friend of ours"? If you're not up to date on your Sopranos lingo crap, I'll clue you in Sherlock. A friend of mine is someone I know and do business with, and who I will vouch for as trustworthy for you to do business with as well. A friend of ours is someone who is part of my other Family, who is in La Cosa Nostra , you know, a wiseguy. Vouching for him goes without saying.

What do they have in common? In both cases, when you are speaking on their behalf, you are giving your personal seal of approval and your assurances that he is the guy. You are essentially saying, "I know this guy. I trust this guy. He's like my brother and you can trust him, too. I give you my word. I give you a money back guarantee, if he screws up, you can take it out on me.

Whether you realize it or not, when you vouch for someone, you're also taking responsibility for anything that goes wrong, as if you're co-signing a loan for someone. Now, you wouldn't co-sign a loan for a degenerate fool, would you? So you shouldn't vouch for anyone who will make you look bad.

WHO SHOULD YOU VOUCH FOR?

This is the million dollar question, who deserves your putting your reputation on the line? If you tell me "everyone I surround myself with, I would vouch for," I'll slap you across the head three ways to tomorrow. You should be able to count on one hand the amount of people you would go the whole nine yards for. There is only a handful of people I would trust with my life and my rep.

A man you vouch for has to be beyond reproach, beyond corruptibility, beyond being careless, and your faith in his abilities to deliver an end product has to be unquestionable. Anyone you vouch for, you have to have some kind of history with. You need a track record with that person because only time and opportunities allow you to see if your good buddy is a good buddy under any and all circumstances.

Like I said before, when you vouch for someone, you have to ask yourself: "Would I give this guy my bank account number and trust that he'll never steal from me? Trust, reliability, responsibility, and accountability are all traits of someone you want to vouch for. But nothing beats the test of time and the test of having been around the block with a guy a few times.

Even if a guy is reliable in business, if he's useless in his personal life, it won't take long for the apple to fall from close to the tree, or whatever that goddamn expression is. Eventually the "stupid" gene spills over into his business life. I've heard of many stories and personally done plenty of business with guys like this, but I have never given anyone reassurances about them.

CAN YOU VOUCH WITHOUT VOUCHING?

Because the number of people you'll give your bank account number to is limited to one hand, and since there are plenty of other good people you know, but not well enough to vouch for, you have to come up with some middle-ground solution. If you need to do a "quasi-vouch," always qualify it. Tell whomever that you have no complaints about the person but you can't put your reputation on the line...

You need to make it clear that you're not giving your stamp of approval. You are simply giving your opinion based on your own experience and nothing more. If you are faced with this situation, I'd recommend even being honest about a person's negatives. Let the other guy decide whether he wants to take the risk; you've given full disclosure so your hands are clean of bloodshed. If you speak on behalf of someone (without necessarily vouching), realize that you are still granting them a favor. In my world, a favour doesn't have an expiry date and one day you should be able to call in that favor with no worries.

HOW DO YOU VOUCH?

1. Don't Oversell

If you decide to vouch for someone, you have to follow a few rules. Hedge yourself; you never know when people will disappoint you. Even the few people you will vouch for might one day slip. Overselling some guy only sets you up for a steeper fall from grace.

2. Keep Expectations Low

Don't guarantee the moon. No matter how great the person you vouch for is, all you need to let the other person know is that the person you're vouching for can get the job done, nothing more. If there is an upside, you look even better. You'll get the rep of being both prudent and intelligent. No harm there.

3. Use Gentle Persuasion

Supply the person you are vouching for with what I call gentle persuasion, i.e. "you better not make me look bad, or I'll clip your sorry ass" kind of persuasion. In case they decide now would be a good time to let you down, let them know that there will be consequences.

VOUCH FOR VICTORY

No matter what you do, be smart enough to realize who your audience is when you vouch. The kind of person you are vouching to (the person who will hold you responsible) will affect your threshold of "vouching." If the person on the other side is the local sewage man, you might have a little more leeway to vouch for every bum in your neighborhood. If you need to vouch to your local known gangster, well let's just say your standards are going be a little higher. And when in doubt, don't vouch at all.

the audacious truth