When To Hire A Woman

Good day peoples,

There’s a feminist movement of sorts in the many countries, as many women take over the family business and become succesful bosses. These woman top dogs are hitting the streets with vengeance with their ruthless management styles. I’ve seen female leaders who’ve been somewhat qualified for an executive position, but even Margaret Thatcher couldn’t them. If the new breed of Darling Dons can teach us anything, perhaps it’s that women do have some relevance in the workplace.

I’m not a sexist pig, but I refuse to buy into the whole notion that women and men should be treated the same, mostly because they share some clear differences. That being said, I think it’s time to concede there are instances when women might add a little to the work environment. Inspired by the ladies of my family and other sucees African stories, here are some instances of when to hire a woman.

The Soft Sell and Powers of Persuasion
A good salesman can sell sand to the Arabs, and an even better salesman can sell it at 20% above the market value. However, sometimes men take the seller’s pitch a little too literally, and the “hard sell” turns into an even harder sale. Before you know it, you have a fleet full of trashy dudes who are turning the joint into a used car yard. When this happens, it might not hurt to hire a woman.

Women have a knack for the soft sell, which is precisely why it might be good to hire a woman. It’s not an in your face approach, but a more persuasive and charming tactic. You’ve seen this when buying the wife a new dress or a round of drinks for a hopeful companion’s entire posse. Yes, this persuasive power can translate to the workplace, but don’t go replacing all the salesmen with saleswomen. Even a used car yard is better than a hair salon.

Cut-Throat Competition
In a male-dominated workforce, occasionally the employees will get too buddy-buddy, stifling internal competition. I’ve had times, though I was quick to kibosh them, when the men in my workplace, earlier job i had, thought I was running a summer camp they were more concerned with their “bromances” than their career paths.

If you want to turn these dudes into a bullpen of workers eager to succeed, and not a pledge class begging to do the elephant walk together, add the right woman to the mix. Add a competitive mama hoping to prove she’s “not just another woman.” When you hire a woman like this, she’ll be a pain, complaining about inequalities, looking to stage a bra burning protest in the conference room, but it’ll be sure to keep the men on their toes. Your once sluggish workforce will make sure the new girl on the block doesn’t reach the next pay grade before they do.

In Need of Femininity
The workplace shouldn’t be a locker room. A man’s got to show some class, show some tact and honour and think with more than just testosterone. In my business, you see a lot of guys trying to prove their masculinity by making what they think are the “bold” decisions. They’ll buy a stock on pure gut feeling, never concede a point and flex any time they feel threatened. Dude, you can’t have a bunch of brutes calling all the shots.

If these are the types of employees you've got running the show, it might be time to hire a woman. It doesn’t have to be permanent, but teach the crew that using a heavy hand only highlights insecurities. A woman can be cunning, sly and aggressive all without overtly showing it.

Some men tend to think if they’re not yelling and they’re not cursing, then they’re not men. Well, let them learn the hard way by bringing on the missus.

Keep Them Coming Back
When morale is down, and the customers and clients stop coming back, why not add a little eye candy to the mix? Make sure she’s a looker, under qualified if need be, and make sure she understands there’s no strict dress code in the office.

Having a sweetheart at the front door can do two things for you: Internally, it’s always nice for employees to come to work and see a girl they want to sleep with. Secondly, potential clients will appreciate the new addition. Don’t just throw in any old spent woman. Make sure she knows her role as the professional flirt. Trust me, no one will show up late, unshaven or untucked again. Customers, they’ll keep coming back for a glimpse of the fresh meat. Once she signs the contract, give her a desk, give her a chair and have fun on casual Fridays.

Keep the Sunday Gravy at Home
There are some specific instances when women might need to abandon the mwiko and claim a career. Trust me men, I’m not looking to diversify the workforce for diversity’s sake. I’m looking to make a man’s working environment better by keeping everyone on their toes, the morale high and providing some nice eye candy to the 9-to-5 existence. There are women who can do this, but they just have to be the right ones. Don’t start rounding up the herd, replacing every man for a desk-filling chick. However, when the occasion arises, and the office is in dire need of something different, call in the girls for an interview. And remember: Leave the best ones at home to make the Sunday gravy. LOL

the audacious truth