Beware Of Guys That Act Like Used Car Salesmen

We've all met them. You know the type. The "used car salesman" type. The guy who shows more teeth than a crocodile at feeding time (as my friend Bobby likes to say). The guy who never stops smiling and pats your back every few minutes. The ultimate fugazi (fake).

Most of the time these guys are easy to spot, a 5 year old can smell their manipulation, but sometimes, especially if the guy is good, you might mistake the crocodile smile for charm or personality. Smart as people think they are, their BS detectors are often turned off in the presence of someone charismatic and articulate.

When you see a used car salesman, you know right away that you have to be on your guard. If it isn't the gold watch or the excessive cell phones, it's the excessive laughing and incessant back slapping. You know the guy's going to try to play you, and he's a goner once he starts whispering in your ear, "You know I'm not supposed to tell you this but I have a great deal coming..." Shut the hell up.

Spotting The Crocodile Smile

Spotting the "used car salesman" type is easy. You don't need my help in that area. What you do need some help with is the sly,"intelligent used car salesman" type.

There are plenty of friendly people in the world, people too dumb to know they are rejects of society, so they have nothing to complain about and always smile. Call me a cynic, but no one with any sense of reality can ever be over friendly all the time. That's why when I see an intelligent man with a crocodile smile, I know that, unless he has Farrah Fawcett under his table, he shouldn't be smiling so much.

It's these guys that you need to concern yourself with. So how can you tell if someone is looking to use you or manipulate you instead of being friendly? Let's find out.

1. They Pretend To Be Your Best Friend

In my world and in your world, everyone is looking out for themselves. No one is doing anything for the greater good. If you have some guy with a crocodile smile telling you he is looking out for your interests, that he wants you to do well, etc., you should know how worthless that is.

No one is concerned about you beyond a basic superficial need to politely make sure you are not dying. If you are not dying, great. Nobody cares otherwise. People are only loyal to themselves and no one else.

Nobody gives a damn, they're only calling because they want something

No matter how much people tell you they do things with no self interest, don't believe them, it's simply not true and you are a fool to think they do. The only people who do things for you with no self interest are your mother, your kids, your right hand man, and, if you're lucky, maybe your wife too.

2. They Seek You Out Under False Pretenses

We've all been in situations where we receive unexpected phone calls from guys who have no business calling you unless they want your money or a favor or something. Whether it's to chitchat or to ask some dumb questions under the guise that they respect your opinion and want your advice, these are guys who watch out for themselves and themselves only, plain and simple. Whether they are doing their networking crap or trying to slither into your life to use you at a later date, be aware.

I have this guy who always calls me every three months or so. It's like he is going through his Rolodex (phone number organizer), line by line, calling his circle of "people" so he can show off about how many people he knows or tell me about how fabulous and ingenious he is. I always ask him, "To what do I owe this call?" and he never gives me an honest answer. I keep listening and don't hang up because his whole act gives me chuckles, but as soon as he hangs up, I'm saying, "What a f****** idiot," and he's saying, "Another one added to my list. I'm a master networker.

3. They Act Different with Different People

If someone is friendly and smiles at everyone, there should always be consistency in his behavior. It shouldn't be arbitrary, it shouldn't be selective. But the crocodile smilers are nice to the people they want to be nice to, the people they can use. Other people, who they have no use for, they treat like garbage.

One thing I always do to make sure someone is as friendly as they pretend to be is go for a walk with him in an area I know there will be bums around. If the guy is as nice to someone asking him for spare change as he is to people he's trying to fleece or use, then I might question my instincts. If he acts like I know he is going to act, I cut the guy off from my life immediately because he can't be trusted.

Their ethics are compromised...

How To Make Threats

Good day peoples,

First of all, there is a time and a place to make threats. Nobody can afford to toss them around like rice or confetti at a wedding unless you’re homeless and have nothing to lose. The obvious reason for this is that threats have to be credible in order to work. And in order to gain credibility, you should be in a position to follow through. If you want to know how to make threats, it also helps to have an intimidating disposition and a history of collecting on your threats. In other words, don’t issue empty threats because no one will feel threatened. Not only that, if your strategy backfires and you abort the threat, it will tarnish your reputation with colleagues and clients.

So, then, what kind of situation calls for a threat? Let’s say you’re in a negotiation with some kind of business associate. Maybe your client has been doing business at a pretty friendly price but the situation has changed. Now, all of a sudden, he needs you like a hit man needs a target. Naturally, your goal is to make your associate pay the financial price for his desperation. So when the time is ripe to raise the stakes, the well-timed threat is your trump card. It can knock your adversary off balance, leaving him stumbling and mumbling in no man’s land. Here are some tips on how to make threats.

The Potential Threat
Before you issue a threat, the first question to ask yourself is where your reputation stands with the competition. Let’s say you’re bidding for a new contract that will bring your company some serious dough if you get it. However, how much do you know about the relationship between your position and your competitor’s position? In other words, are you the underdog or the front runner? Not all is lost if you’re the underdog, you just have to know where you stand. Once you realize you’re the underdog, you’re at least in a position to tailor a more creative negotiating strategy since you likely can’t offer the best price.

Next, in any kind of negotiation, dialogue is inevitably clouded by potential threats on both sides. Typically, one party is looking for some type of service, while the other party is some type of service provider. Again, your reputation will have a big impact on negotiations because fear will factor into this daring game of chicken.

To maintain the upper hand, it is a great advantage to have a reputation that causes fear in your opponent. If, on the other hand, you have the reputation of being a pushover or a nice guy, forget about it. You can be a nice guy at home or in the lunch room, but when you deal, people better think you’re a hard ass or a loose cannon.

Use Ultimatums
On the subject of fear, Machiavelli wrote in his notorious book The Prince that “it is much better to be feared than loved.” The reason fear works is that, in business as in politics, people must fear your ability to harm them. If they don’t, you have no foundation for manipulating your opponent’s strategy.

The potential threat, then, is that hypothetical “thing” you can threaten to take off the table. And if your opponent fears losing that “thing,” and you have the will and the power to follow through, the ultimatum is like a trick up your sleeve.

Essentials of A Good Woman

Good day Peoples,

Hope the weekend was legit. Now on to today's insight.

I'll tell you one thing, there are no thighs that look as good as the ones that are about to walk out your front door and never come back. This is doubly true if she's a good woman because you'll learn real quick how tough it is to find another. 

Men cannot live on broads alone, even though they'd like to. As much as you want to chase tail forever, if you find a good woman, consider the fact that they don't come along often. Having a woman that you can trust is invaluable, especially after the world has boxed your ears for a few decades. Rest assured to all men that aren't saint, but who try to keep their priorities straight at home. 

You'll never have a shortage of problems in life, so I say forget about dating women stuck on the "crazy" setting. A friend of mine got stabbed in the leg with a fork by his side dish. Need I say more? Those chicks are nighttime fun, sure, but they are erratic and costly, and they distract you from business. Besides, I'm not sure adulthood is meant to be fun. Your 20s were meant to be fun. After that, the real world expects responsibility, and a good woman can help you find success. I'll tell you what, they say in your 40s, the most fun in life comes after you've worked hard at something and can celebrate a victory, such as after you've pulled off a serious scam.

So what is a good woman? I know what you're thinking, a deaf-mute Pamela Anderson. But jokes aside, here are some things to look for and a few to avoid.

Good Qualities

Loyal
The same rule that applies to good friends and bosses can apply to your wife or girlfriend. Loyalty is a virtue, especially when it comes to pillow talk at bedtime.  Secrets get shared in every relationship. If she's nosy, that's a problem, but over the course of time, unless you're sleeping with a real deadbolt, she'll figure certain things out, and she of all people had better not be a snitch.

Supportive
One thing that's very important is how she represents you when you're apart. If she goes out with the girls and drags you down endlessly, that's disaffection, brother. If she has a low opinion of you, it needs to be confined and then unwound. In the same way, you shouldn't be dragging her name through the mud. If there's a problem, fix it at home or tackle the issue constructively, but you don't need her plaguing your reputation when plenty of dudes are willing to do it already. If she's got to criticize you, it’s better to have it done to your face.

There’s no way you’ll get anywhere in life if you have some broad nagging at you perpetually.

Patient
If she nags you, this is a serious, deadly problem. Like the black mold that grows in bathrooms, it's best to recognize this early. I'm certain that nagging shortens a man's lifespan more than smoking and booze does. And guys, if you want to make a splash in this world, you can't allow to be browbeaten. Have you ever heard a story about a drug dealer saying, "Yes dear, ok, fine, I'll stop trafficking"?

Sensible
As much as we like side dishes to be dumb, wives shouldn't be. You have a doormat on your stoop, but you shouldn't file taxes with one. If you have a dumb woman, then you might end up with dumb kids, especially if you expect her to raise them while you're out working. Now, keep in mind that I say "smart," as in common sense, but you don't want some woman with a Ph.D. in penis envy. I read this article once that said, John Gotti's wife, Victoria, raised his kids and stayed married to him through all of his court cases and she was a high-school dropout. You do the math.

Calm
Your confidence in your career will wax and wane with successes and failures. Taking risks means working toward success, and if you have a woman that supports you, it's like leaving the house wearing a newly pressed shirt.  A woman who believes in your dreams will make reaching your goals that much better because she helped you get there.

Bad Qualities

Party girl
We all love these types of girls, but to settle down with? Forget about it. If problems with drugs or alcohol are even remote questions, answer them by giving her a beer for the road and saying, "Hit the bricks, honey." This will be a real issue if you have kids, and simply put, it's unacceptable. This is not to suggest that a prude or a teetotaler is best, because it's nice to have some fun with your woman. But if she's tipping her glass by noon and it ain't Sunday Communion, she's got a problem, and therefore, so do you. “In vino veritas” means "there is truth in wine," and in my business, that leads to another saying: “Loose lips sink ships.”

It ain’t all in the pum pum,boys.

Stacked
I like stacks of money as much as I like stacked ladies. However, the bust ain't as essential as honesty, not in the long haul. When you're young, it's hard to think beyond a woman’s body, but at some point after the honeymoon, you'll be thinking more about a hearty T-bone steak than Kama Sutra. After a 10-hour workday, a calzone may be more attractive than her body. And be careful about having dessert elsewhere because plenty of wise asses. A friend of mine, a real sage, said: "It don't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home."

Behind Every Great Man…
In the end, a good woman is someone that you respect and like to have dinner with. If she's not fun to eat with, then you have a lot of silent meals ahead of you.  Silence is no good. Remember: For it to last, she's got to interest you for 50 years, so take one more bite of that calzone before you throw it away.

the audacious truth

Rules of Wisdom

Good day peoples. 

Hope you all will have fun-filled Friday and after reading today's post, I believe you will.

Today I'm going to impart words of wisdom. I can't take credit for many of these but my close associates have played a role in teaching me a lot of them, and they probably had someone teach it to them. Obviously, some of these rules go back 100 or even 1,000 years, but if you think I'm going to do the research to find out who said what, you've got another thing coming, So here goes. 

Even The Boss Must Get His Fingernails Dirty
Don't make the people under you do things you haven't done or aren't willing to do. Once in a while, you must go out into the field with a trusted worker of yours to send a message to your employees. If you're a leader, then lead by example. How can anyone argue with you then?

A Handful of Luck is Better Than a Mountain of Wisdom
OK, this one isn't mine for that matter, but it's still an important rule. As smart as you can be, there are always things in life you have to be prepared for. Even a wise man can slip on ice. Don't underestimate the power of being at the right place at the right time.

For Every One Word You Say, Let Your Enemies Say 10
I'd like to emphasize this point by saying that the more you reveal to your enemy, the more weapons he has to hurt you with. Let your enemy talk because information is power, and information can destroy.

Cash is Cash, Even If It Comes From an Elephant's Stomach
When you have cash in your hands, there are no maybes, no ifs, no credit, no anything. A check can always bounce, a credit card is for suckers, cash is always cash (which is why thriving establishments only accept hard currency, especially when you are not in the corporate domain).

Never Reveal 100% of Anything to Anyone
I have said this before in one of earlier posts, if you have a great idea on how to become a millionaire, or how to convince TRA that you really did only make $18,542 as a dental surgeon, never tell anyone all the details of your plan. Always hold something back, reveal only 75% or 90% of the plan if you have to. It protects you (especially if that last 10% is illegal) and ensures that your great idea stays yours.

Never Make a Decision When You're Angry
Smart, careful men realize they must have a clear head to think. When you're angry, it's your boiling bloodlines that speak for you, not your logic. Control your emotions. This is one of the most important rules there is. When you're angry, you make threats you often can't deliver on, or decisions you come to regret. Trust me, don't say I didn't warn you.

A Man is Nothing Without His Word
One of the few things even a poor man has is his word. Your word should never be broken. Always keep your promises (you should never make promises, but I know how some clowns can't stop yourselves). The minute someone doesn't trust you is the minute you lose them.

Keep Your Mouth Shut, If You Have to Lie, Keep it Short and Simple
If you don't have anything smart to say, don't say anything at all. Even if you have something to say, don't say it, you just end up revealing something to the other person, giving them more ammo to shoot you with. If your mouth stays shut, mistakes go the way of the dinosaurs (extinct, don't exist).
If you lie, there's no use in you coming up with some conspiracy theory. A short and sweet lie is easier to defend, and remember, than some elaborate story about how some transvestite got lipstick on your tie.

The Best Way to Dodge an Enemy's Bullet is By Never Being in A Position Where He Can Hit You
Don't put yourself in a position where you can get in trouble. Avoid being put between a rock and a hard place. Never be in the same room with your enemy and he'll never have a clear shot at you.

When You Can't Win a War By Playing Fair, Bend the Rules. Better Yet, Break Them
Unless you're some fish ass who's as motivated as a slug, you always want to win. Winning doesn't mean you have to play by the rules. It means winning. If you want to get ahead in life, you have to learn the rules of the side game. Those who run this country learned this rule a long time ago.

Never forgive betrayal
Never.

Traditions You Need To Observe

As a stand up guy it’s necessary to observe the traditions marked on your calendar.  Forget to buy your woman flowers on her birthday or congratulate your parents on their 30th anniversary, and you’ll be left in the doghouse. There are dramatic consequences for screwing up these basic ”traditions,” which is why it’s easier to remember them. However, you also must respect and abide by a set of unspoken customs that get put on the back burner more often than not. These are the day to day rituals that keep your residence in order. They are an expression of true devotion to your family, and are symbolic of the responsibility and leadership that you, as the Man of the household, must maintain. Kick yourself in the ass and make sure you follow these traditions you need to observe.

Family Dinner

Gathering around the dinner table each night with your family is important for many reasons. It’s a time when stories are shared and memories are made. With a demanding job. It’s easy to lose track of the details of your family. This is your chance to fill in the gaps and make up for lost time. For you true men, dinner is more than a meal. It is one of those traditions you need to observe and make sure that everyone takes part in. Whether you cook the pasta or simply serve drinks, everyone in your family should have a role in the preparation of this feast. The key to a stable household is strong family ties.

Vacations

Taking a vacation to the same destination each year will create a bond between your family. However, these trips should not be fluff excursions to Maui or the Caribbean. Tropical islands and plush resorts won’t give your children a perspective on where you came from. Take your family back to the small town or village where you or your parents grew up. The same village your grandparents continue to call “home.” Your children can’t get by there without learning a little mother tongue and following the local customs. Make sure the ones you love value their heritage and know where they came from. That’s why family centric vacations are traditions you need to observe.

The family Roles

Rites of passage should be followed to the letter. These days, kids are running over their parents left and right because they are soft. These little brats aren’t learning the fundamental skills and responsibility that are required of adults. And so what if they aren’t of legal working age? When your son turns 13, don’t give him allowance unless he does some house chore. Have your daughter fix meals and clean up the kitchen. You didn’t have it any easier, and why should they? Just remember, don’t make blind demands. Show them how to complete these tasks before you send them off on their own. If you are fixing the something in the house, bring them along and show them the ropes. Next time a pipe bursts, let them take a shot at repairing it.

Weddings/Funerals

traditions you need to observe, as in you have to attend. Both weddings and funerals offer the opportunity to not only see and spend time with friends and family, but basically, attending such events is just something you should do. Celebrate at weddings and pay your respects at funerals. All is not lost though, remember it’s important that you respect these traditions you need to observe. They are the customs that molded you into the man you are today, and these same activities will instill in your children a sense of maturity and responsibility in life.

The Carrot Or The Stick

In business, one should employ an incentive-based regime. If you want a guy to do the job, you'll entice him with one of two things. Sometimes you should hint that a fat envelope will be coming his way; other times you'll subtlety mention he might be getting "laid off".  Not everyone takes both angles. There are some men who always follow the passive route, failing to understand the stick is often a necessity. Then there are the hard-ass jokers, who never bother to realize the importance of the carrot. To be successful in any aspect of life, whether a man of high importance or some ordinary worker, you need to know when to use the carrot or the stick -- aka reward versus punishment.

Here are a few tips to help you decide whether it’s better to use the carrot or the stick.

With the Kid

The Carrot

When it comes to raising a kid, the carrot or the stick dilemma is quickly disappearing as too many parents take the carrot approach to the extreme. In child rearing, the carrots should never be materialistic things. If you want to solicit good behavior with a reward, it should be with something that can’t be bought. Say, trust.

The stick

Nowadays, no one likes to use the stick anymore, or in my father’s case, the belt. It’ll never hurt to instill a little fear in your young ones. I’m not condoning child abuse, if you even want to call it that, but I am encouraging parents to toughen up a bit. You don’t want your kid to test your limits only to find out he can get away with it. If the little brat misses curfew and you want to raise a man, raise the hand and let him know it comes down on the second offense.

At the Office

The carrot

People need encouragement and incentives to perform well. However, the carrot only really works well with employees who have already proved themselves. If you've got some clown who can’t show up at the office before noon, the promise of a raise isn’t going to do much. On the contrary, if there’s a guy with a good work ethic, he’ll thrive when you add a promotion to the picture.

The stick

When considering the carrot or the stick in the office, remember that, overall, the stick is the more practical method in the office. A wise man, once said "it’s best to be both loved and feared." However, Machiavelli finished that claim by noting if you can’t be both, it’s better to be feared. It’s tempting to have everyone love you, but running a business isn’t like running a family. You need to have the stick constantly raised and you need to make sure that your subordinates understand it’ll come crashing down if need be. This is all figuratively speaking, of course, since HR might have a problem with an actual stick.

Never Reveal The Whole Story

You know what distinguishes the guys who make it from the guys who always miss the cut? The ones who make it always have a plan, the other guys only have their pipe dreams.

A master plan for your life, a business opportunity, or anything else, always gives you an advantage over the other guy who is clueless. The guys who are successful in business, the only success worth measuring (let's face it, we are judged by how many zeros we have in our bank accounts) stand out from others who are still polishing their shoes because their plans were greater and better executed than anybody else's.

The men who make it, the ones with the best plans, know something you don't. It's the little details that set people apart. Everyone knows the big stuff; knowing the intricacies of life will differentiate (big words) you from others. So if you know something that most don't, why tell them?

That's why one of the things i learnt the hard way and have made it one of my golden rules is to never reveal 100% of anything to anyone. You reveal only what needs to be revealed to get a job done, or get your point across. Always withhold something 50%, 10%, even 1% of what you know. Don't just give away mama's secret recipe to impress someone. That 1% you withhold is the small detail that will make you rich off the other guy, and not the other way around.

Keep The Plan To Yourself

When you get that genius idea that is going to make you prosperous, your big plan , you can't share it with others. The minute your plan comes out of its box, it's like spoiled milk.

The Coca-Cola formula is a good example of how keeping a plan secret can line many pockets. That formula is the key to a multi-billion dollar fortune. Do you think the pharmacist who invented it would have the legacy he has now had he told his poker and drinking buddies exactly how he made it?

A real good plan shouldn't even be put down on paper. It should only be available in your head, if you can pull it off without needing a paper trail.

As I go through life I tend to assume everyone I meet will try to screw me over. So I learned a while back to keep my mouth shut. Even when I need to open my mouth, I am always careful. Even my closest friends don't know everything I know.

That said, your plan is worthless unless you put it into action, and, often, you need help to execute it, so you can't keep 100% of it to yourself.

Keep your banana hidden...

Information You Should Take To The Grave

Good Day Peoples,

I am going to discuss the importance of keeping your mouth shut and not saying more than you have to. The general rule is simple, unless you have to, don't say any more than necessary, or it will come back to bite you in the testicles.

But wait, there are times when you have to open your mouth, or you risk disrespecting someone or coming off as an arrogant prick. If someone starts acting all coy and mysterious with you when you ask him something, you should get suspicious. And when you get suspicious, somebody usually gets there ass kicked.

So yes, you can open your mouth, just make sure certain things are never said. Before I reveal the list of information you should take to your grave, let me remind you of one thing some wise old bastard said after probably having too many drinks: "A smart man never alters his state of consciousness."

It basically means don't get drunk, because if you do, you're likely to say things that will make you look like a dick head. So, be especially careful never to get yourself into a state of severe intoxication, or you might never wake up from that state if the wrong thing is said to the wrong person. Understood?

Things You Never Say In Public

I've always thought that people talk too much, i probably to have been a statistic. If it were up to me, everyone would have a zipper on their mouths that could only be opened by someone who actually wants to hear from them. That would be a piece of heaven on earth, no?

Back to reality. Here's my list of things you should keep quiet about. They aren't in order of importance because I don't have the time to put them in order. So here goes:

1. How Much Money You Make

You want to become a target? Let people know how much money you have. You'll only have your jealous colleagues poisoning that dirty water you call your morning coffee. Not only will you sound like stupid if you reveal this information, your phone number becomes the first one on speed dial every time someone needs a little extra cash.

People don't want to know how much money you earn, unless you plan on giving them some. You make 40Mil a year? So what? What do you want, a pat on the back from a made man like myself? Or a ransom note for one of your children?

Being modest never killed anyone. No one likes a showoff, especially when it comes to money. So put your wallet away, and wank.

If you want to hurt someone, do it privately...