The Carrot Or The Stick

In business, one should employ an incentive-based regime. If you want a guy to do the job, you'll entice him with one of two things. Sometimes you should hint that a fat envelope will be coming his way; other times you'll subtlety mention he might be getting "laid off".  Not everyone takes both angles. There are some men who always follow the passive route, failing to understand the stick is often a necessity. Then there are the hard-ass jokers, who never bother to realize the importance of the carrot. To be successful in any aspect of life, whether a man of high importance or some ordinary worker, you need to know when to use the carrot or the stick -- aka reward versus punishment.

Here are a few tips to help you decide whether it’s better to use the carrot or the stick.

With the Kid

The Carrot

When it comes to raising a kid, the carrot or the stick dilemma is quickly disappearing as too many parents take the carrot approach to the extreme. In child rearing, the carrots should never be materialistic things. If you want to solicit good behavior with a reward, it should be with something that can’t be bought. Say, trust.

The stick

Nowadays, no one likes to use the stick anymore, or in my father’s case, the belt. It’ll never hurt to instill a little fear in your young ones. I’m not condoning child abuse, if you even want to call it that, but I am encouraging parents to toughen up a bit. You don’t want your kid to test your limits only to find out he can get away with it. If the little brat misses curfew and you want to raise a man, raise the hand and let him know it comes down on the second offense.

At the Office

The carrot

People need encouragement and incentives to perform well. However, the carrot only really works well with employees who have already proved themselves. If you've got some clown who can’t show up at the office before noon, the promise of a raise isn’t going to do much. On the contrary, if there’s a guy with a good work ethic, he’ll thrive when you add a promotion to the picture.

The stick

When considering the carrot or the stick in the office, remember that, overall, the stick is the more practical method in the office. A wise man, once said "it’s best to be both loved and feared." However, Machiavelli finished that claim by noting if you can’t be both, it’s better to be feared. It’s tempting to have everyone love you, but running a business isn’t like running a family. You need to have the stick constantly raised and you need to make sure that your subordinates understand it’ll come crashing down if need be. This is all figuratively speaking, of course, since HR might have a problem with an actual stick.

When to use the carrot or the stick with the wife and friends

With the Wife

The carrot

When it comes to marriage, always use the carrot. Always use the carrot. While some men think it’s necessary to keep their wives in check, others think it’s manly to have their women feel the need to tiptoe around them. If, however, you ever need a stick with your old lady, dude, you’re never going to make it. If you truly believe you chose the right woman, and you offer her your unconditional love, she’ll always do good by you. Some have a lovely marriage for many years, and have always stuck to the carrot approach. If she starts sleeping around, however, ditch the carrot and get a freaking bat.

With Friends

The carrot

People often wonder why you would ever need to take the carrot approach with a friend. In this case we’re not referring to the normal carrot. If you need a favor from your boy, always entice him with a favor in return. My friend Paul helped me take care of a problem I had. I wouldn’t ask this of any close friend without making it clear that I’m indebted one favor to him.

The stick

We’ve all had to answer the monetary requests from one friend or another. Whether you’re lending out the green for a gambling debt, mortgage, some random loan you'd better make sure you’re getting it back. Even if a guy has been your boy since pre-school, the stick has to be raised on a delinquent payment. I’ve seen a lot of guys say they’ll have it next week, next month or next year. The only time it actually comes is when you tell them: “It’s either the money or your legs.” If they still don’t come with the paper, you come with the cleaver and bust their balls.

Crime and Punishment

Sometimes you catch more flies with honey, and sometimes it’s the crack of the whip that gets the horse moving. As you can see from my advice, you can’t subscribe exclusively to one approach; there’s a time for the iron fist and a time for the milk and cookies. Some might never want to abandon their stick for the carrot. Others might have problems ever raising the stick, always failing to find justification for such rough behavior. It’s unfortunate for them, because there are certain times when certain actions are appropriate. Whether you’re at the office, in the home, or in the bedroom, you got to know how to get what you want. Try not to use too many sticks in the bedroom; the carrots are much more fun.

the audacious truth