Always Have An Opinion

Good day peoples,

I recently had the "pleasure" of having a brief lunchtime "discussion" with one of the boys in the building. It went a little something like this:


Me: Hey, Paulo, did you watch the football game last night?

Paulo: Yeah, did you?

Me: Of course, you idiot, why else would I bring it up? Who do you think's the toughest team dispite the score?

Paulo: I don't know.

Me: What do you mean you don't know, who do you think plays better?

Paulo: I don't know.

Me: I think England are looking weak this time round, don't you agree?

Paulo: I don't know, whatever you say I guess.

Me: I know what I think, you thick head, I'm asking for your opinion.

Paulo: I don't have an opinion, whoever wins is fine by me.

Me: Forget about it! Hey, Daudi, mind if I join you for lunch...

No opinion means no brains

I know Paulo isn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I wasn't asking him what he thought about the theory of relativity. I just wanted to know which team, in his opinion, is superior. Whether what he says makes any sense is besides the point; the point is that he did not have an opinion on such a simple thing.

When I ask someone what their opinion is on a given topic, I expect to get an answer. Something, anything is usually better than "I don't know." I assume that if someone has an opinion about some topic it's because they've taken some time to reflect and have come to at least a preliminary conclusion regarding the subject at hand.

If they have an opinion, it shows me that they are thinking. If they don't have one, then I have to question if the light bulb in their head is on or not. Everyone needs to surround themselves with the right people and the right people always have an opinion.

No Need To Advertise Everything
Don't get me wrong, just because you have an opinion about something doesn't mean you need to open your megaphone and broadcast it to the world. Some things should be kept to yourself. But if you are having a discussion and someone asks for your opinion, it's usually safe to share your thoughts on the subject. Unless, of course, your boss asks you if his new girlfriend Babette is hot. In this case, simply say you never looked at her in that way (sometimes safety is the best policy).

Anyhow, what I'm getting at with all this is that you can keep your opinion to yourself if you prefer. If you are in a room full of people don't shoot your mouth off. Be smart about what you say and when you say it. The important thing to remember is that you should always have an opinion on the subject, however misguided and there's no need to break a sweat over it.

Opinions count for a lot more than you might think in business. Bill Gates started Microsoft because it was his opinion that computers would be everywhere someday soon, and that his software would run on most of them. Look at him today.

Good Business Opinion
In life and business, our minds focus on solutions to problems. Each time we tackle a dilemma successfully, we become stronger and more experienced for it, and hopefully we learn a lesson about success.

In the business world, opinion plays a larger part than most people think. When a company hires managers and executives, it will often ask for professional and character references. The interviewers have your resume in front of their eyes while they're holding your MBA from some elite university in their hands, yet they usually need one more thing to make their decision, other people's opinion of you.

Sure, they don't say it outright, but they will call your former boss and ask what kind of worker you were. They will ask subtle questions that help them figure out what kind of person you are. When do you get a job the fastest? When someone sets you and the employer up.

Suppose your next-door neighbor tells his friend at Citibank (who happens to be looking to fill an important position and who trusts his friend, your neighbor, very much) that he's got the perfect candidate for him. What will happen? He'll gloss over your credentials and base his decision on what his friend told him about you.

You are already way ahead of the competition. When you go in for the interview, he is already seeing you in a positive light. All he needs to figure out is whether he really likes you. If so, you've got the job. Short and sweet. So you see, opinion counts for something, which is why Paulo's work tools consist of a mop, pail and toilet brush. 

Decisions Require An Opinion
You will have to make decisions every day of your life. Whether that means buying the Armani or Valentino suit, or which Enterprise Resource Planning software to implement company-wide, you will always have to make choices.

Making decisions means you will have to learn about what you need to decide. You will go through the quantitative and qualitative aspects and will have to come up with an answer to which course of action to follow.

What if your counterparts come up with a different answer? This is where opinion counts, you must be able to boil it down to why you think this is the best thing to do. If you don't have an opinion, you'll never move up the ladder and you can get stuck holding the mop and pail. One more thing, it helps if you have a reputation of being "on-the-ball."

the audacious truth

Why Do You Have The Friends You Do?

Good day peoples,

Everything Is About Choices
Think about everything you own or have in your life, whether it's the people in your life, your car, your job, etc. Did all those things just end up on your lap? Of course not. Everything you have in your life came to you because you decided it should be there. Anyone with half a brain knows that there are certain things in life you must choose carefully, such as your barber, your tailor, your mistress, and others you don't have to spend too much time on like your car, your bank, or your wife. Actually, this isn't true; you should take your time when selecting your car or bank.

The point here is that one of the most important things in life is your friends, so you should be equally picky about selecting them, the way you'd be selecting tomatoes for your wife's pasta dishes. Friends are your backbone, and they are usually the ones you let your guard down with and to whom you expose your weaknesses, even though I think you should never expose your weaknesses to nobody (trust me I know what this can do to you).

Do You Really Know The Guy
Case in point, you meet a guy, you get to know him, you start doing things together, you know, guy things , like going to the local bar, chasing tail, making a deal and there, the usual. You think you know the guy, so you start telling him more intimate things, like how you are screwing the government out of taxes, how you are cheating on your wife, how you gamble daily. But what do you really know about this guy that you should be telling him your secrets?

You had a couple of beers together, you shared some laughs, ...so what? Does a little male bonding mean you should automatically open up, and give him your trust? Come on, I should hit you across the head now if you even have to think about it.

A Friend is A Commodity
What is a friend? A friend is such like anything else, a commodity to be used when the need arises. We have friends because when we need something, they are available to provide a service, whether it's to talk about how your wife's friends are screwing you over, because you want reservation at some chic joint, or because you don't like playing golf alone (and what is with golf, do you know how many soccer fields you can build with all that wasted green space?). Friends are there because we are selfish, self-absorbed people, who don't like to do things ourselves.

Don't even bother telling me that friends are people we care for, blah, blah, blah. You care for your friends because they know everything about you or because they owe you money. Without those two things, your caring level drops fast. In life, we don't make friends, we make contacts. The minute you realize this is the minute you start making it in life.


Now, I may come off as a wise guy but I'm also human, and despite everything I've said, nobody can do anything alone. At a certain point in our lives, we all need friends, check this, close friends, because friends can be very valuable. With that in mind, you have to realize that you must be very careful about choosing the select few (and privileged in my case), people that you can say are your good friends .

Suffering Leads to Closeness
I once heard a man say that there is no better way for two men to become closer than by pulling-off a crime together, because after this moment you rely on each other not to rat out the other. I've also heard of someone saying  that the only way you can get close to someone is by suffering together. I don't think that getting my leg chopped off with some guy named Protus, no matter how much we suffer, will bring us close together.

For some reason we do come together when we suffer together. The only time you will ever know who your friends are are when you need them the most. It's a conditional match unless you get in serious trouble (O.J. Simpson kind of trouble), you won't really know who will stand by you and who will desert you. If you go through life without ever getting in this kind of trouble, you will never know who were your real friends.

A friend of a frined of mine just got convicted for something he could have avoided. I can guarantee you that if he had read my articles, he wouldn't be in jail, but in my mind, he will always be a close friend to my friend. This is not because he cares about him, but because when he was a stupid 24 year-old, they did some things that let's just say the law would frown upon.

I can't be there to tell you which morons don't deserve your friendship and which do, but I can tell you to be very careful before you let your guard down and trust another, because trust is a very powerful thing.

the audacious truth

Careful What You Wish For

Good day peoples,

We all want to be rich, we all want to be famous, and we all want to be powerful. Most of you spend your entire lives striving to be those things. Sounds like a great life, doesn't it? Who wouldn't want to be adored, have a seven figure bank account, drive a Ferrari, and have a penthouse and a summer home in Monaco, while banging Halle Berry?


It sounds wonderful, but it isn't. Sure, being rich and powerful isn't exactly scrubbing toilets, but it doesn't come without its downside. Because when you're on top, you become a bigger target for all those who want to see you fall. More money, more problems? Absolutely. So the next time you wish to be in the other guy's shoes, don't just look at the nice leather and wish his shoes were yours, look inside his shoes to see what's making his feet stink so bad.

After all, we always want what we can't have. This is not to say you shouldn't be ambitious. Quite the opposite. What I want to warn you about is the fact that having money and power isn't all roses. People don't know what to do with large amounts of money and power (though your local Mercedes car salesman will be more than happy to tell you what to do with that disposable income of yours).

The Good Part About Being Made
So before I highlight some of the pitfalls of getting everything you wish for, let's go over the positives of being rich and powerful:

1- You can buy whatever you want.

2- You can buy whoever you want, except those with a bigger yacht than yours.

3- You can walk around with "inflated" balls . This is a great thing for most men because most men lack balls (both in the board room and in the bedroom).

4- Mistresses are easier to come by. Women love powerful men, it's like a drug for them. The women you meet will still be call girls, only you don't pay them at the beginning of the night, but rather every month when their rent is due and house payments need to be made.

5- Doors open and opportunities arise, whether you're looking for them or not. The richer you are, the more you get for free, and the more others want to make you richer.

The Pitfalls of Money & Power
Okay, that's great and dandy. Who wouldn't want these perks? We all love having the ability to do what I want, when I want, without blinking at the price. But nothing comes without a cost. In fact, like most others in positions of power, you'll always sleep with one eye open.

Here's why:

1. You Worry About Money
Those who say, "I want to make enough money never to have to think about it again," obviously have no cash flow. The more money you have, the more you worry about it because, after you've stuffed every pillow in your house, you still need to find places to stash your cash. It becomes unmanageable, you can't keep track of all your money, and you worry about which dude in your inner circle has his eyes on your children's meal ticket. Having a lot of money doesn't stop you from stressing about the bills, your bills just have a few extra zeros.

2. With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
Who wouldn't enjoy having power over others' lives, to decide their destiny, their happiness, their financial future? You might feel like a king over there, having the ability to fire, hire, promote, demote, break, make, or even jail a guy, but that's not how it goes.

Sure some sick f*cks treat the ability to toy with other men's lives as an aphrodisiac, one should treat it with incredible responsibility. When you are calling the shots, the buck stops with you. When you have the power to make major decisions, decisions that not only affect your power base but affect those around you, you can't take it lightly.

When I was out on my own, when I had no one to think about but myself, I was a selfish prick looking out for my interests, I didn't give a damn what happened to the dude next to me. But as I grow more and more people depend on me, and decisions I make now must be carefully weighed to make sure I protect myself, as well as those around me.

Some people handle that kind of pressure well, others don't. Worse, some don't even realize the responsibility and act as if they have their own little kingdom, without rules. Politicians, needless to say, top that list, but I hate discussing politics so I'll stop there.

You have to make the tough (and sometimes unpopular) decisions, whether it's selling out your best friend or firing a long time employee. You want to be Boss, you are going to have to take the crap that comes with being Boss. And the stress and venom that comes your way.

3. You Are A Big, Fat, Beached Whale of A Target
People love having a target, an enemy, or even a scapegoat they can point their fingers at, to blame for their own miserable lives, for their stupidities, and for every mistake they ever made.

When you are rich and powerful, you become a target. Not just for the money seekers at every charity under the sun who bother you relentlessly, but for those around you who are jealous of your success, for your competitors, and for people who want to use you as an example.

Get used to it, not everyone is going to love you. Be grateful if your enemies are known to you, there is nothing scarier than being surrounded by people who smile at you and then stab you in the back. People need inspiration, they need a Goliath for their David, and you've just earned the lead role. People will want your job, your money and your power, and even if they can't bring you down, they'll take pleasure in trying.

Building Back Trust

Good day peoples,

Trust, to me, is a simple matter. It boils down to a pure essence, one that smells nothing like a rat. Trust is being where you’re supposed to be, when you're supposed to be, doing what you said you would do. In that respect, trust is just a series of repeat visits that coincide with the expectations of the truster, such that the truster doesn't have to be breathing down the other guy's neck eight days a week.

Trust is difficult to gain, but much more easily lost and almost impossible to win back. It can be lost through no fault of your own, such as by miscommunication or by bad timing. Another way to lose it is by getting sloppy and letting the quality of your work slide. Then there's losing trust by intentional deceit.

A breach of trust is so difficult to forgive because trust is so vital to daily operations, and lifelong partnerships rely on it. But winning back trust is possible with the following methods.

Act Early
Once you realize that you have betrayed someone's trust, tell the person yourself before someone else does. Put your hat in your hand, step onto the carpet and pipe up. Put some sugar on it and act humble. If the person you betrayed gets angry, take the tirade with style and make it known that you are taking off the cloak and dagger out of loyalty. In other words, grovel with dignity.


Be Persistent
At first, you will probably be rebuffed by the person you let down. Even if someone says, "You're dead to me now," don't give up right away. Put that guilt to work by acting penitent. Don't let the last word be spoken in the heat of the moment. Go away for a while, and then come back once the initial anger has worn down, the edge will be smoother a few days later.

Don't Make Excuses

This is especially important when the problem arose from something beyond your control. Most people have to gamble at times and operate in what bankers call "the float." The float is when your account doesn't quite have the money you need just yet, but a check is on its way, and you go ahead and make another deal as if you were solvent. You lie because business sometimes requires it.

The same thing happens with deliveries and timing. Let's say the bagman arrives much too late with the dough. In the interim, you have to cover the vacuum of missing money using your mouth. Promise confidently to fulfill your original promise. Deals fall through from time to time, it's a part of life, but when you have to tell someone that you lied, at least do it with clarity and dignity.

Learn From Your Mistakes
One reason Al Capone lasted as long as he did is that he surrounded himself with ironclad people who understood the meaning of silence. If you are cast out to the east of your Eden, don't plunge into self-reflection, rather, learn from your mistake. Let your pride down for a moment so that the lesson gets tattooed in your brain.

Parents tell their kids to learn from others’ mistakes, not from their own. But anyone who has lived beyond the age of 40 can assure you of one thing, mistakes will be made no matter what your intentions, just like history will repeat itself. Therefore, knowing that life will never be perfect, you should swallow the lesson of what it feels like to lose someone's trust and don't do it again.

Change Your Behavior
The person you betrayed has no compelling reason to believe your plea unless you show that you have changed. If the problem started because you weren’t paying attention to detail, then become a stickler. Perhaps you were spending more time chasing the girls around than working, so get back on the job every day until your feet hurt.

After a certain age, it becomes difficult to change, but a dire situation requires a new way of thinking. Plenty of guys have gone to Alcoholics Anonymous because they have lost trust. If booze or drugs are the stumbling blocks impeding your progress, figure out how to get out of that cycle.

Fix The Process
Policies, traditions and routines are often flawed and prone to failure. If the system you are working in doesn't have the harmony of the planets, take measures to rectify the irregular parts of your business. Make suggestions to your boss about how to avoid having the same thing happen again. Sometimes it's only one employee who is late, sometimes it's a whole department in the company. Cut the contract, trim the fat or do whatever you must to restore confidence in your end of the business. Rather than passing the buck and finding a cause for your misfortune, rethink the process so that it doesn't happen again.

Start Climbing Again

Keep your nose to the grindstone and your feet moving. Falling down a few ranks doesn't have to break your mind. A demotion is not the end of the world unless you want to roll over. Wake up in the morning and start setting the world on fire.

Get Back Up There
Regardless of how much remorse you feel or how willing you are to change, once people know about your temporary downfall, you will endure a period of sneers and jeers. So be it. In life, you might wash 10,000 windows, but people will only remember the one that you fell through. Self-doubt may eat at you, but if you work hard to prove yourself, the wise d***heads will eventually stop. The betrayal will be forgotten by those fools, and the person you betrayed will begin to notice that you aren't such a deadbeat after all.


the audacious truth