Everybody screws up right? You. The Pope. Your cousin Larry. Everyone has had to clean up a mess that they created or that somehow fell into their laps. Forget the fact that if you've been reading my articles until now, you'd never screw up in the first place and be a first class fool. I consider your reading this like a confession to a priest. It's a chance for you to repent, admit your mistakes, and ask for redemption.
But chances are that despite my advice, many out there are still amateurs in life, so they're still going to make mistakes an idiot makes. Sometimes those mistakes are the size of an concealable zit, and then you need more than that good old common sense.
So now listen up and learn how to clean up a screw-up (and when you're done, go read the rest of my articles so you'll never have a mess on your hands in the first place).
What is A Mess?
Okay, so let's define a mess. I know most of you have seen the movie Pulp Fiction, where that guy Winston Wolf cleans up the mess of the two fools who can't control their piece. The mess? Well, they had a guys' brains splattered across the backseat of a car, and a nice spritz of blood on the windscreen.
The Wolf, through curt, controlled decisions, got rid of the body and had the car magically cleaned. He is a specialist and a professional who recognizes a) the screw-up; b) the situation and its consequences, and; c) a solution.
So we aren't all going to have a dead guy in the backseat of our cars, but you don't need an untimely death in order to find yourself in a "hot" situation. A mess is any kind of mistake that makes your sweat glands work overtime, and your heart beat like you had Beyonce on your lap, the kind of mistake that can permanently affect your reputation, your health, your wealth, or your freedom. Get it genius?
Small vs. Big
Now, before we roll up our sleeves and look at cleaning up, let's separate the big from the small. Small problems like losing money in the stock market and giving your mistress your wife's cell phone number are inconsequential. Be a man and deal with it, don't go looking for a cement truck to plug a leaking roof.
A big problem occurs when you lose someone else's money in the stock market, or your wife gives your hooker your cell phone number.
If a problem affects you and you alone, and doesn't implicate anyone else (your wife don't count), it's a small problem. If a problem affects you and another person, their money, their reputation, or their well-being, then you've got a big problem.
Be Like Ice
Once you realize that you've been an idiot and made a mistake or faux-pas (I knew that French mama would give me something), the most important thing to do is remain cool as ice. Don't panic. Stay calm. Do that yoga crap if you have to. What's vital is that you remain in control of the situation, whatever it is.
More often than not, you are going to have to take care of the mess yourself. Why? Because involving anyone else usually creates more problems than solutions. The more people involved in fixing your little "situation," the more witnesses there are, the stupider the decisions, the more hands and brains you are going to need to keep everyone in check.
That is, if the problem can be handled by you. Use your judgment boys, you know when you need some outside help and when you can handle something yourself. If you do need to make that phone call, make sure you call upon an associate or a member of your crew. You have to trust whoever helps you 100%. If you are willing to lend this guy lumps of cash then he passes the trust test (unless you're a moron of course).
The Facts
Before you start the clean-up process, make sure you get all your facts straight. Analyze the situation (write things down if you have to, because we know how forgetful people are), look at all the angles, all the parties involved, who knows what, who will react in what way, who is trouble, problems that could creep up during the clean-up, and any dangers you face before the clean-up (you don't have time to worry about the consequences if your clean-up screws up).
Then make sure you examine a couple of possible ways to repair your predicament. Look at each way out, its strengths and weaknesses. Make sure you choose the best possible resolution. Just don't pull a Moses and take 40 years to make up your mind. Time is always of the essence. Whatever way you choose to clean up, make sure it permanently eliminates your dilemma, understood?
Execution
Yes, it's all about execution. And if you think I'm talking about being whacked, then you deserve to be executed. Once you are calm and in control, have the necessary outside help, know the facts, looked at different solutions, and chose a course of action, then it's time for the most important part of the clean-up: implementing and executing the plan.
Like I said before, time is of the essence, so leave your morals at Bible school and do what you have to. This has nothing to do with being honorable, this has to do with insuring that your biggest worry later on is being honorable. Stick to your plan, be detached, and stay focused, logical and meticulous. And of course execute, or be screwed, figuratively or otherwise.
the audacious truth
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