You Screwed Up, Now Fix It

Good day peoples,

Everybody screws up right? You. The Pope. Your cousin Larry. Everyone has had to clean up a mess that they created or that somehow fell into their laps. Forget the fact that if you've been reading my articles until now, you'd never screw up in the first place and be a first class fool. I consider your reading this like a confession to a priest. It's a chance for you to repent, admit your mistakes, and ask for redemption.

But chances are that despite my advice, many out there are still amateurs in life, so they're still going to make mistakes an idiot makes. Sometimes those mistakes are the size of an concealable zit, and then you need more than that good old common sense.

So now listen up and learn how to clean up a screw-up (and when you're done, go read the rest of my articles so you'll never have a mess on your hands in the first place).

What is A Mess?

Okay, so let's define a mess. I know most of you have seen the movie Pulp Fiction, where that guy Winston Wolf cleans up the mess of the two fools who can't control their piece. The mess? Well, they had a guys' brains splattered across the backseat of a car, and a nice spritz of blood on the windscreen.

The Wolf, through curt, controlled decisions, got rid of the body and had the car magically cleaned. He is a specialist and a professional who recognizes a) the screw-up; b) the situation and its consequences, and; c) a solution.

So we aren't all going to have a dead guy in the backseat of our cars, but you don't need an untimely death in order to find yourself in a "hot" situation. A mess is any kind of mistake that makes your sweat glands work overtime, and your heart beat like you had Beyonce on your lap, the kind of mistake that can permanently affect your reputation, your health, your wealth, or your freedom. Get it genius?

Small vs. Big

Now, before we roll up our sleeves and look at cleaning up, let's separate the big from the small. Small problems like losing money in the stock market and giving your mistress your wife's cell phone number are inconsequential. Be a man and deal with it, don't go looking for a cement truck to plug a leaking roof.

A big problem occurs when you lose someone else's money in the stock market, or your wife gives your hooker your cell phone number.

If a problem affects you and you alone, and doesn't implicate anyone else (your wife don't count), it's a small problem. If a problem affects you and another person, their money, their reputation, or their well-being, then you've got a big problem.

Be Like Ice

Once you realize that you've been an idiot and made a mistake or faux-pas (I knew that French mama would give me something), the most important thing to do is remain cool as ice. Don't panic. Stay calm. Do that yoga crap if you have to. What's vital is that you remain in control of the situation, whatever it is.

More often than not, you are going to have to take care of the mess yourself. Why? Because involving anyone else usually creates more problems than solutions. The more people involved in fixing your little "situation," the more witnesses there are, the stupider the decisions, the more hands and brains you are going to need to keep everyone in check.

That is, if the problem can be handled by you. Use your judgment boys, you know when you need some outside help and when you can handle something yourself. If you do need to make that phone call, make sure you call upon an associate or a member of your crew. You have to trust whoever helps you 100%. If you are willing to lend this guy lumps of cash then he passes the trust test (unless you're a moron of course).

The Facts

Before you start the clean-up process, make sure you get all your facts straight. Analyze the situation (write things down if you have to, because we know how forgetful people are), look at all the angles, all the parties involved, who knows what, who will react in what way, who is trouble, problems that could creep up during the clean-up, and any dangers you face before the clean-up (you don't have time to worry about the consequences if your clean-up screws up).

Then make sure you examine a couple of possible ways to repair your predicament. Look at each way out, its strengths and weaknesses. Make sure you choose the best possible resolution. Just don't pull a Moses and take 40 years to make up your mind. Time is always of the essence. Whatever way you choose to clean up, make sure it permanently eliminates your dilemma, understood?

Execution

Yes, it's all about execution. And if you think I'm talking about being whacked, then you deserve to be executed. Once you are calm and in control, have the necessary outside help, know the facts, looked at different solutions, and chose a course of action, then it's time for the most important part of the clean-up: implementing and executing the plan.

Like I said before, time is of the essence, so leave your morals at Bible school and do what you have to. This has nothing to do with being honorable, this has to do with insuring that your biggest worry later on is being honorable. Stick to your plan, be detached, and stay focused, logical and meticulous. And of course execute, or be screwed, figuratively or otherwise.

the audacious truth

Habits That Destroy You

Good day peoples,

Hope all of you have been well. As it's evident I've been out of sight for a while but I'm back now with a lot to dish out. All in all enjoy the read.

We all have weaknesses. It's only natural, we're primitive beasts called men. We all have that one soft spot that goes against all the common sense, logic and experience we've gathered. Such a weakness can get us into trouble, and can cause us to lose credibility and respect.

That weakness can be a fondness for alcohol, a love of illicit drugs, a gambling habit, an inability to control your debts, being unreliable, an incapability to keep your mouth shut, having a sex addiction, or being a brute. I'm not immune. I do have habits that won't destroy me and some that could do so. I especially keep my "weaknesses" away from my work, so that the two never cross paths. So I have some habits, some bad, some good, but now I'm smart enough to know when a habit gets out of control and has the potential to wipe me out. Some people can't make that distinction, so this article is for you.

Sign of Weakness
A bad habit proves you have weaknesses and a lack of discipline in some aspects of your life. How that habit controls your life shows how disciplined you are. But we can't get away from the fact that you are still weak and vulnerable in one area of your life. I've covered the dangers of appearing weak before. Having the appearance of weakness makes you a target for your enemies. They have found a loophole in getting to you. By having a bad habit that can destroy you, you open yourself to being exploited. Bad habits also affect your reputation.

When you lose control (i.e. you can't help but gamble when you hear the faintest sound of cards shuffling), it takes a toll on your reputation too, you are seen as fallible and a potential liability. You don't want anyone to think you're unreliable and unsavory, putting doubts in people's minds about your reputation is bad for business and social life. It also has a snowball effect.

Breaking Down the Habits
 
Alcohol: Booze can go from a nice accompaniment to a meal to controlling everything you do. All it takes is one moment with the wrong alcohol, at the wrong place, and at the wrong time to open your mouth and say things that will haunt you for a lifetime. Then you'll have a real reason to drink. Recovering from the damage to your rep caused by the bottle can take years my friend.

Drugs: Like alcohol, they make you lose control, logic and reason. Unlike alcohol, they can be a more expensive habit and unlike being found face first in a pool of your own vomit, you end up in jail for dealing or doing the junk. Drugs screw with your brain, which is why the cocaine lords in Colombia don't touch their own supply. Like alcohol, by the time it's doing you enough harm to destroy your life, you'll be too souped up to do anything about it.

Gambling: The problem with gambling is that it doesn't take long for your gambling debt to eventually land in the hands of people you don't want knowing your name. You become known as a degenerate and you add no value to your life. In fact, you end up destroying everything of value in your life because the vig is so high, you can't help but sell off your liver to pay off the juice. Debt is a great way to destroy even the strongest of men.

Sex addiction: When your penis is making decisions your brain should be making, it's inevitable that you'll make an ass out of yourself. Sex and an addiction to women can cloud your judgment, make you easily influenced by a pair of T&A, and eventually burn associates who will look at your obsession with the opposite sex as a good scapegoat to screwing you over, or questioning your decisions and rationale.

Being a big mouth: Not being able to keep your hole shut can be a very nasty habit. Not only do you risk saying things you shouldn't, wrecking your reputation or being perceived as untrustworthy, you can screw someone up the asshole pretty badly. That could cost you big time.

Getting Over Bad Habits

Look, I'm no therapist over here, but there are some things you can do to get rid of the bad habits. I know it's not easy, I know it takes time, willpower, love, hugs, and a good shot across the head, but be a man, grow some balls, and get it done. Trust me.


1- Be Aware of Your Problem
If you are getting beaten up, losing your friends, end up in the hospital more times than Michael Jackson, max out your credit cards, or are always told what a jerk-off you are, maybe it's time for you to go up a hill for a few hours to get some perspective on your life. If you can't see that something is wrong, you're hopeless. If you need people to point out your stupidities, you have no chance unless you act bro. Either open your eyes or get out of town, literally.

2- Be Disciplined, Not Half-Assed
If you don't put all your effort into coming correct, you're doomed to fail. Like anything in life, things done half-heartedly end up being sloppy, inferior, and prone to breaking under minimal stress. Don't be a fool, don't waste your time, own up to your faults, and change .

3- Change Your Circle of Friends

Unfortunately, too often we are a product of our environment, and if that environment is rotten, guess what happens to you? Stop hanging out with losers and people that are a negative influence. If they don't add value to your life, they are sucking it away. Friends either help or hurt, otherwise they are just strangers. Anyone that purposely got out of the business is not going to get too far by hanging out with guys still in the business, is he?

4- Sabotage Yourself
Sometimes, we need the crap beaten out of us for the truth to sink in. Sometimes we need to be taught a tough lesson in order to learn. So maybe you need to set yourself up for some severe consequences that will scare you halfway to Bangkok to get your life back on track. Turn yourself in, rat on someone, screw with the wrong guy's wife; do whatever it takes for you to hit rock bottom and wake up.

Zero Sum Game

Like every bad habit, you are essentially playing poker with your life. Your bad habit makes you happy, it brings you a little bit of a thrill, you can feel like a winner after, but it can also screw you six ways to Wednesday (and to a back room for a beating, heavy knuckles). In the end, you have to ask yourself if the pleasure of the habit outweighs the risk it poses to the rest of your life, and take your chances if it does. As much as I love what I love, honestly, it's a zero sum game.

Control your bad habits or, better yet, get rid of them. We're human and we're imperfect. It doesn't take much for a vice to highlight those imperfections, so why not do something about it? Capisce ? Watch your backs and keep your noses clean.

the audacious truth

Always Have An Opinion

Good day peoples,

I recently had the "pleasure" of having a brief lunchtime "discussion" with one of the boys in the building. It went a little something like this:


Me: Hey, Paulo, did you watch the football game last night?

Paulo: Yeah, did you?

Me: Of course, you idiot, why else would I bring it up? Who do you think's the toughest team dispite the score?

Paulo: I don't know.

Me: What do you mean you don't know, who do you think plays better?

Paulo: I don't know.

Me: I think England are looking weak this time round, don't you agree?

Paulo: I don't know, whatever you say I guess.

Me: I know what I think, you thick head, I'm asking for your opinion.

Paulo: I don't have an opinion, whoever wins is fine by me.

Me: Forget about it! Hey, Daudi, mind if I join you for lunch...

No opinion means no brains

I know Paulo isn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I wasn't asking him what he thought about the theory of relativity. I just wanted to know which team, in his opinion, is superior. Whether what he says makes any sense is besides the point; the point is that he did not have an opinion on such a simple thing.

When I ask someone what their opinion is on a given topic, I expect to get an answer. Something, anything is usually better than "I don't know." I assume that if someone has an opinion about some topic it's because they've taken some time to reflect and have come to at least a preliminary conclusion regarding the subject at hand.

If they have an opinion, it shows me that they are thinking. If they don't have one, then I have to question if the light bulb in their head is on or not. Everyone needs to surround themselves with the right people and the right people always have an opinion.

No Need To Advertise Everything
Don't get me wrong, just because you have an opinion about something doesn't mean you need to open your megaphone and broadcast it to the world. Some things should be kept to yourself. But if you are having a discussion and someone asks for your opinion, it's usually safe to share your thoughts on the subject. Unless, of course, your boss asks you if his new girlfriend Babette is hot. In this case, simply say you never looked at her in that way (sometimes safety is the best policy).

Anyhow, what I'm getting at with all this is that you can keep your opinion to yourself if you prefer. If you are in a room full of people don't shoot your mouth off. Be smart about what you say and when you say it. The important thing to remember is that you should always have an opinion on the subject, however misguided and there's no need to break a sweat over it.

Opinions count for a lot more than you might think in business. Bill Gates started Microsoft because it was his opinion that computers would be everywhere someday soon, and that his software would run on most of them. Look at him today.

Good Business Opinion
In life and business, our minds focus on solutions to problems. Each time we tackle a dilemma successfully, we become stronger and more experienced for it, and hopefully we learn a lesson about success.

In the business world, opinion plays a larger part than most people think. When a company hires managers and executives, it will often ask for professional and character references. The interviewers have your resume in front of their eyes while they're holding your MBA from some elite university in their hands, yet they usually need one more thing to make their decision, other people's opinion of you.

Sure, they don't say it outright, but they will call your former boss and ask what kind of worker you were. They will ask subtle questions that help them figure out what kind of person you are. When do you get a job the fastest? When someone sets you and the employer up.

Suppose your next-door neighbor tells his friend at Citibank (who happens to be looking to fill an important position and who trusts his friend, your neighbor, very much) that he's got the perfect candidate for him. What will happen? He'll gloss over your credentials and base his decision on what his friend told him about you.

You are already way ahead of the competition. When you go in for the interview, he is already seeing you in a positive light. All he needs to figure out is whether he really likes you. If so, you've got the job. Short and sweet. So you see, opinion counts for something, which is why Paulo's work tools consist of a mop, pail and toilet brush. 

Decisions Require An Opinion
You will have to make decisions every day of your life. Whether that means buying the Armani or Valentino suit, or which Enterprise Resource Planning software to implement company-wide, you will always have to make choices.

Making decisions means you will have to learn about what you need to decide. You will go through the quantitative and qualitative aspects and will have to come up with an answer to which course of action to follow.

What if your counterparts come up with a different answer? This is where opinion counts, you must be able to boil it down to why you think this is the best thing to do. If you don't have an opinion, you'll never move up the ladder and you can get stuck holding the mop and pail. One more thing, it helps if you have a reputation of being "on-the-ball."

the audacious truth

Why Do You Have The Friends You Do?

Good day peoples,

Everything Is About Choices
Think about everything you own or have in your life, whether it's the people in your life, your car, your job, etc. Did all those things just end up on your lap? Of course not. Everything you have in your life came to you because you decided it should be there. Anyone with half a brain knows that there are certain things in life you must choose carefully, such as your barber, your tailor, your mistress, and others you don't have to spend too much time on like your car, your bank, or your wife. Actually, this isn't true; you should take your time when selecting your car or bank.

The point here is that one of the most important things in life is your friends, so you should be equally picky about selecting them, the way you'd be selecting tomatoes for your wife's pasta dishes. Friends are your backbone, and they are usually the ones you let your guard down with and to whom you expose your weaknesses, even though I think you should never expose your weaknesses to nobody (trust me I know what this can do to you).

Do You Really Know The Guy
Case in point, you meet a guy, you get to know him, you start doing things together, you know, guy things , like going to the local bar, chasing tail, making a deal and there, the usual. You think you know the guy, so you start telling him more intimate things, like how you are screwing the government out of taxes, how you are cheating on your wife, how you gamble daily. But what do you really know about this guy that you should be telling him your secrets?

You had a couple of beers together, you shared some laughs, ...so what? Does a little male bonding mean you should automatically open up, and give him your trust? Come on, I should hit you across the head now if you even have to think about it.

A Friend is A Commodity
What is a friend? A friend is such like anything else, a commodity to be used when the need arises. We have friends because when we need something, they are available to provide a service, whether it's to talk about how your wife's friends are screwing you over, because you want reservation at some chic joint, or because you don't like playing golf alone (and what is with golf, do you know how many soccer fields you can build with all that wasted green space?). Friends are there because we are selfish, self-absorbed people, who don't like to do things ourselves.

Don't even bother telling me that friends are people we care for, blah, blah, blah. You care for your friends because they know everything about you or because they owe you money. Without those two things, your caring level drops fast. In life, we don't make friends, we make contacts. The minute you realize this is the minute you start making it in life.


Now, I may come off as a wise guy but I'm also human, and despite everything I've said, nobody can do anything alone. At a certain point in our lives, we all need friends, check this, close friends, because friends can be very valuable. With that in mind, you have to realize that you must be very careful about choosing the select few (and privileged in my case), people that you can say are your good friends .

Suffering Leads to Closeness
I once heard a man say that there is no better way for two men to become closer than by pulling-off a crime together, because after this moment you rely on each other not to rat out the other. I've also heard of someone saying  that the only way you can get close to someone is by suffering together. I don't think that getting my leg chopped off with some guy named Protus, no matter how much we suffer, will bring us close together.

For some reason we do come together when we suffer together. The only time you will ever know who your friends are are when you need them the most. It's a conditional match unless you get in serious trouble (O.J. Simpson kind of trouble), you won't really know who will stand by you and who will desert you. If you go through life without ever getting in this kind of trouble, you will never know who were your real friends.

A friend of a frined of mine just got convicted for something he could have avoided. I can guarantee you that if he had read my articles, he wouldn't be in jail, but in my mind, he will always be a close friend to my friend. This is not because he cares about him, but because when he was a stupid 24 year-old, they did some things that let's just say the law would frown upon.

I can't be there to tell you which morons don't deserve your friendship and which do, but I can tell you to be very careful before you let your guard down and trust another, because trust is a very powerful thing.

the audacious truth