Dealing With A Dick-Head On The Job

Good day peoples,

Whether you’ve got a white collar finance gig or earn a living unloading crates down at the docks, it’s inevitable that you will have to deal with some inept coworker who tends to make your life a living hell. If this dick-head is under your direct supervision, it will fall on you to fix his mistakes and execute the work that he could not complete. This won’t only cost time but money as well. Let the problem persist for too long and your reputation within the organization will be at stake. Obviously, the best move would be to give this clown the axe and find a better replacement. However, if this employee is locked into a binding contract or if he happens to be the boss’ relative, then he is in effect a made man and cannot simply be kicked to the curb.

In the latter scenario, the best solution is to take quick and aggressive measures to whip him into shape. Take on the task as a challenge instead of looking at it as a nuisance, use it as a way to score points with the boss by being the one who molded his pathetic excuse for a sibling into a man. If you succeed, you’ll walk away with a top-notch coworker who owes you a favour and a boss who sees you as a tough and uncompromising manager. However, this transformation won’t happen overnight and no one strategy will work for every DH. 

Assign Them Bitch Work

The idea here is to keep this minion out of your hair with meaningless busy work that even a donkey could handle. This way you fill his plate with tasks he can’t screw up, at the same time boosting his confidence since you’ll no longer be screaming your head off. If this DH were anyone else I would pull rank and make him scrub the toilets or restock the fridge every morning. However since he is a made man within the organization, it is essential to tread lightly. There are many subtle ways to keep him occupied without being too demeaning.

When you rise to middle management or higher, you may no longer have the time to file mountains of paperwork and fill out mind-numbing expense reports. Pass this job off to your personal bitch. Have him take notes in departmental meetings and e-mail group memos later in the afternoon. If your company has a weekly lunch or occasionally celebrates the birthdays of coworkers, delegate this task. Empower him to choose where you eat and what colour balloons to order.

If he’s dumb enough to enjoy these chores more than his former position, leave him be. He might not be adding value to the operation, but at least he’s no longer diminishing your bottom line.

Micro-Manage

If you must assign real work to this incompetent bastard, then make it known that you’re keeping a close eye on him. This is one way to deal with a DH on the job. Nothing irks employees more than having a demanding boss always looking over their shoulder. Stay on his case 24/7 and make sure that every move he makes is approved by you first. He will be motivated to work harder if for no other reason to get you off his back.

At this point, nothing he does in the workplace should be private or sacred. Gain access to his calendar and grill him about the meetings he sets. Ask for status reports to be emailed twice a day and assign the associates you trust to partner with him on projects he can’t finish solo. If more than one person is acting up, schedule constant department-wide meetings throughout the week and put the pressure to perform well on everyone. 

Use the Three Strike Rule

Even as you micro-manage him, this DH  may continue to test you, believing he is invincible because of his relationship to the chief. You need to walk a thin line at this point. Don’t make any brash decisions that will permanently alienate the Boss, but at the same time don’t let this stooge walk all over you. At some point you have to lay down the law, family or not, and even your boss will respect a threat as long as it’s properly managed.

Use your wits and come up with a creative way to put him in his place with a touch of humor that your boss will appreciate. When you're in this position, use the three-strike rule. This may not be appropriate in every workplace, but your crew will respect it. In order for this technique to be effective, you need to have an understanding with your boss.  You know as well as he does that strike three will never come to pass, but your inferiors won’t call your bluff. 

Lead By Example

The strength and performance of an organization starts from the top and works its way down. The way in which a boss conducts business will set the tone for the entire office, and if he cuts corners or slacks off his employees will follow suit. Your minions should see you as a role model not a slouch. Take a look in the mirror before you leave for work. Leading by example begins here by maintaining good hygiene and dressing immaculately every morning. Be the first one to get in to the office and when your schedule allows it, be the last to leave. Follow all company protocols, many of which you may have created, and maintain constant communication with your associates. If you set the bar higher for yourself, this DH will likely come along for the ride.

Get To Work 

Your employees know the ins and outs of your operation. If you see even a hint of potential in them you should try to mold them into a star performer before giving them the axe, which is the best way to deal with a DH on the job. Never burn a bridge if you don’t have to, especially if that bridge turns out to be a made man.

the audacious truth

Sex & Money Go Hand In Hand

Good day peoples,

Today I'm going to discuss something useful: sex and money. Sex and money go hand in hand. Both sex and money are easy to get, but the law doesn't always agree with our methods in getting either one. Both can also be hard to get at times (it's getting tougher and tougher to convince women to jump in the sack with you, and try getting a loan when all your "declared" income is rather below the radar).

The point here is that sex and money go together, like Al Pacino and a gangster movie. Specifically, the more beautiful the girl, the more money you need. Women say they aren't superficial, that money doesn't matter. My ass.

When was the last time you saw some "poor" old guy, with a hot 20-year-old model/chick? Money talks. Do I have to beat it into your head for you to believe me? It's no rocket science, you need cash to get the women. You want a beautiful, sophisticated woman? Start saving for the Mercedes.

money = power = women

 

How you get to the cash (to get the supermodel) is another story. You may not be the greatest looking guy (though you may make up for it by being good, looking elsewhere, or simply being hung like a horse), but you get the women. How? You got cash and you let women know it. You don't have to take out your wallet and show them your platinum card. But you do have to spend big bucks and make yourself known. Women are attracted to guys who have their act together.

One of my favorite movies is Scarface . The movie has some great lines, but the most relevant in this case is, "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women."

Money is like an aphrodisiac and women are drawn to powerful men, men who can take care of their every need.

The Big Boys Know

The "big money" always goes hand in hand with the "big sex." Look at Cape Town, Jo'burg, Hollywood, Vegas, Miami, New York, or any fast life city. How many times have you been at a serious night joint (baller palace),  surrounded by CEOs of serious money making companies? These guys are like kids in a candy store. They get all kinds of loving from a 20-year-old and they turn to jello. And I'm talking about guys who run multi-billion dollar companies, and who lay off thousands of people without blinking.
 

If you have the cash, the chances of you seeing action with the ladies increase. Big-time. Women fall in love with losers when they are 18. When women are older, they don't care about guys who are artists, guys who have hair like shit, guys who are in a rap group, guys who are "finding themselves" (to anyone out there trying to "find themselves," get lost. We have enough idiots in this world).

I'm no scientist or psychiatrist, so don't expect any kind of "scientific proven theory" about what I'm saying. All I'm saying is this: If you don't have money, you won't get the supermodel, the snob, or the sophisticated chick. You'll get the housewife. That isn't so bad because chances are she can cook and clean.

If cooking and cleaning abilities aren't what you look for in women, I suggest you get yourself a real job or grow some balls and start stacking that paper. Capisce!

the audacious truth

Deal with The Folks

Good day peoples,

Life is about doing what you must: Being a man who understands his responsibilities and obligations to the family and his crew. One of the most common places I see men forget this obligation is when they’re dealing with parents. Fellas moaning about picking their mother up from the eye doctor or bitching that the old man doesn’t know the score, dude!
 

You never neglect your parents. With all the Cousin Steve's and Aunt Mary's on the family tree, your parents are some of the most important. You try and prune those babies off, the whole tree comes tumbling down. Instead of screaming at ma because she asks too many questions and swinging at pops because he’s breaking your balls, you need to settle down. Put everything in perspective; these are your parents. Understood? There are ways of dealing with the dukes.

Maintain the Rituals

Just like your mother used to make a Sunday gravy every week, you need to make the parents part of your weekly ritual. Some older dudes think leaving the parents’ house means leaving for good. But they took care of you, and you'd better take care of them. Stop by and stock the fridge, take in the papers, pick up the tab on a steak once a week. It’s not only your duty, it’s a form of repayment. There is an ongoing thank-you that should always be maintained. And unless you end up rearing a pair of schmucks, your kids will do the same for you. 

Respect the Hierarchy

Just like in the office, there’s a hierarchy within the family. Your parents are the CEOs, and even if their tenure is up, you’re still expected to honour the title. In everybody's line of work, the boss might be sitting crippled on the couch, not even able to draw a burn card from the deck, but he still gets the respect, the hierarchy never dies. And even if your mom and pop's guidance isn’t acted upon, you never dismiss them. Never make them feel like they’ve worn out the titles. You soak in their every word and nod your head. What you do with those words is up to you, but you always nod your head.

End Arguments Respectfully

I’ve seen guys go crazy over arguments with parents; they’re ready to sever all ties over spilled milk. There’s no sense in that. When it comes to your parents, pretty much everything is redeemable. Arguing is going to be inevitable. You get a bunch of people in a room with the same genetics, you'd better believe there are going to be clashes. But whatever the spark that starts the fire, you should always strive to put out the flames quickly. Don’t stay stubborn through six weeks of silence to prove your point. Two weeks, tops.

Acknowledge Their Humanity

Enough of the crybaby mentality -- you know, guys who sit on their shrink’s couch crying about their childhood. It’s tough to be perfect. I’ve never met one person who could do it. And when it comes to parenting, dude, we all have our faults. The sooner you realize your parents are human, with the usual shortcomings, the better you can learn to accept and deal with your parents. Maybe your mother has a tendency to critique, or your father got creative with the belt, don’t begrudge these mistakes. Learn to emulate the good and to correct the bad. And try to keep those belts in their loops.

Guard Your Own Role

Maybe you have a couple of monsters running around the house, maybe you’re expecting or perhaps you’re a long way off. Whichever the case, you need to guard your role as father of your children. Sometimes it’s tough for your parents not to play a parenting role with the grand kids, trying to let you know what’s best. And though you should always respect their direction, you also have to make sure they realize that the torch has been passed. Mom and the old man are perfect for the weekend babysitting, but when it comes to the rearing, you’re now the don of your domain.

Every family is different. I know that. I’ve seen guys treat their parents like strangers, some like friends and others just send them back home (the village). But whichever category you fall under, the general rules of dealing with parents stay true. They’re the ones who got you here, and a real man respects that. If you play your cards right, your commitments come full circle. You’ll reach that age, an old fella with years of parenting under your belt, and those once-little monsters will come through with a Sunday casserole and unconditional respect. That’s a long-term investment worth making. Understood?

the audacious truth

Movie Lessons: Casino

Good day peoples,

Hope you all well. Today I'm gonna review one of my favourite ganster flicks. Now this flick has a great deal of lessons to learn from and today imma break it down for y'all.

This Week's Ganster Movie lesson

The plot: In Martin Scorsese's brilliant 1995 film Casino, Sam “Ace” Rothstein (Robert De Niro) is a sports handicapper who regularly makes money for the mafia. He’s so good at it, in fact, that when the bosses of the Kansas City organization set up shop in Las Vegas and gain control of a casino, they ask Sam to run it for them. Enter Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci), Sam’s childhood friend and a notorious wiseguy enforcer. Naturally, he wants an extra piece of the action and uses his connections with Sam to set up his own rackets on the relatively uncharted Las Vegas scene. Of course, everything starts off brilliantly, and the casino is soon turning a profit, pleasing the bosses back home. Things get more complicated when Sam falls in love with Ginger McKenna (Sharon Stone), a seasoned Vegas hustler whom he thinks, once married, he can control and make love him.

All eventually goes sour as relations turn ugly, deception creeps in, intense greed blinds all over those involved, and everything, in turn, gets completely screwed up. So that must mean there are number of lessons to be learned from the actions of the main characters in Casino, right? Exactly, and here they are. 

Lessons Learned 

People Don’t Change

Ginger was a renowned hustler in Vegas for many years before Sam met her. Still, he thought he could change her, and he would end up regretting it. Even though she freely admitted that she didn’t love him, he decided to make her his wife anyway. Anyone could see that Ginger was clearly not wife material. For wiseguys, it’s common to have a wife and a girlfriend. Usually, the wife is the one who stays home, cooks dinner and takes care of the kids. Almost every guy has one, but he also has a goomah. This is the girlfriend, considerably younger and more glamorous, who he’d set up with an apartment and visit when he felt like it. Sam wanted one girl to be both, and he paid for it.

Take Care of Everyone 

Ginger was a master of what Sam calls the Hustler’s Code: “She knew how to take care of people, and that’s what Las Vegas was all about,” he explains. For this reason alone, she was able to get away with her hustling antics at casinos all over the city. She made sure to pay off the people who would allow her to do her thing: the dealers, the pit bosses, the floor managers, and valet parkers.

Keep a Low Profile

When involved in illegal activities, you simply have to fly below the radar. Sam, with his peach leisure suits and brass cigarette holder, definitely did not do this and consequently attracted all kinds of unwanted attention as the real head of the Tangiers Casino, who was supposed to be the squeaky-clean decoy Phillip Green.

 

Kiss the Right Asses

Sam would hate to admit it, but he had to plant a few ass-kisses here and there to ensure the smooth running of his casino. He had the right idea by comping the state politicians and other important figures that came through, even though he despised them for their arrogance and hypocrisy.

Check Your Pride

In an interview for a local newspaper, Sam is goaded by a reported into admitting that he was running the day-to-day operations at the Tangiers Casino, even though this position was meant to be carried out by Green. He easily could have avoided making a statement to this effect, but in truth he wanted people to know that he was running the show. 

Don't Sleep With Your Friend's Wife

If there’s one thing that mob bosses, and most men, don’t put up with, it’s messing around with another man’s wife, especially one who’s in the family. Nicky commits a serious mistake when he begins his affair with Ginger. She knew the power she held over Nicky, which is apparent right from the moment that Sam introduces her to Nicky, and of course she wasn’t afraid to use it to get what she wanted, which is as much of Sam’s money she could get her hands on. Nicky should’ve known better, and would wind up paying the ultimate price for his betrayal.

Foolish Scene

Sam’s major weakness was his vanity. However much he liked to pretend that he was a legitimate businessman, deep down he had to have known that he was very lucky to have gotten away with what he’d been up to. He was, after all, working side by side with the Mafia to illegally skim profits from his casino and help launder their cash. So, when Sam decided to fire his incompetent slots manager, who turned out to be the brother-in-law of the county commissioner, he made a huge mistake by refusing to hire him back. He could have given the idiot a meaningless job in another capacity, but instead chose to make an enemy of the one man who could put an end to the whole operation.

the audacious truth