Friday, July 30, 2010

Dealing With A Dick-Head On The Job

Good day peoples,

Whether you’ve got a white collar finance gig or earn a living unloading crates down at the docks, it’s inevitable that you will have to deal with some inept coworker who tends to make your life a living hell. If this dick-head is under your direct supervision, it will fall on you to fix his mistakes and execute the work that he could not complete. This won’t only cost time but money as well. Let the problem persist for too long and your reputation within the organization will be at stake. Obviously, the best move would be to give this clown the axe and find a better replacement. However, if this employee is locked into a binding contract or if he happens to be the boss’ relative, then he is in effect a made man and cannot simply be kicked to the curb.

In the latter scenario, the best solution is to take quick and aggressive measures to whip him into shape. Take on the task as a challenge instead of looking at it as a nuisance, use it as a way to score points with the boss by being the one who molded his pathetic excuse for a sibling into a man. If you succeed, you’ll walk away with a top-notch coworker who owes you a favour and a boss who sees you as a tough and uncompromising manager. However, this transformation won’t happen overnight and no one strategy will work for every DH. 

Assign Them Bitch Work
The idea here is to keep this minion out of your hair with meaningless busy work that even a donkey could handle. This way you fill his plate with tasks he can’t screw up, at the same time boosting his confidence since you’ll no longer be screaming your head off. If this DH were anyone else I would pull rank and make him scrub the toilets or restock the fridge every morning. However since he is a made man within the organization, it is essential to tread lightly. There are many subtle ways to keep him occupied without being too demeaning.
When you rise to middle management or higher, you may no longer have the time to file mountains of paperwork and fill out mind-numbing expense reports. Pass this job off to your personal bitch. Have him take notes in departmental meetings and e-mail group memos later in the afternoon. If your company has a weekly lunch or occasionally celebrates the birthdays of coworkers, delegate this task. Empower him to choose where you eat and what colour balloons to order.

If he’s dumb enough to enjoy these chores more than his former position, leave him be. He might not be adding value to the operation, but at least he’s no longer diminishing your bottom line.

Micro-Manage
If you must assign real work to this incompetent bastard, then make it known that you’re keeping a close eye on him. This is one way to deal with a DH on the job. Nothing irks employees more than having a demanding boss always looking over their shoulder. Stay on his case 24/7 and make sure that every move he makes is approved by you first. He will be motivated to work harder if for no other reason to get you off his back.
At this point, nothing he does in the workplace should be private or sacred. Gain access to his calendar and grill him about the meetings he sets. Ask for status reports to be emailed twice a day and assign the associates you trust to partner with him on projects he can’t finish solo. If more than one person is acting up, schedule constant department-wide meetings throughout the week and put the pressure to perform well on everyone. 

Use the Three Strike Rule
Even as you micro-manage him, this DH  may continue to test you, believing he is invincible because of his relationship to the chief. You need to walk a thin line at this point. Don’t make any brash decisions that will permanently alienate the Boss, but at the same time don’t let this stooge walk all over you. At some point you have to lay down the law, family or not, and even your boss will respect a threat as long as it’s properly managed.
Use your wits and come up with a creative way to put him in his place with a touch of humor that your boss will appreciate. When you're in this position, use the three-strike rule. This may not be appropriate in every workplace, but your crew will respect it. In order for this technique to be effective, you need to have an understanding with your boss.  You know as well as he does that strike three will never come to pass, but your inferiors won’t call your bluff. 

Lead By Example
The strength and performance of an organization starts from the top and works its way down. The way in which a boss conducts business will set the tone for the entire office, and if he cuts corners or slacks off his employees will follow suit. Your minions should see you as a role model not a slouch. Take a look in the mirror before you leave for work. Leading by example begins here by maintaining good hygiene and dressing immaculately every morning. Be the first one to get in to the office and when your schedule allows it, be the last to leave. Follow all company protocols, many of which you may have created, and maintain constant communication with your associates. If you set the bar higher for yourself, this DH will likely come along for the ride.

Get To Work 
Your employees know the ins and outs of your operation. If you see even a hint of potential in them you should try to mold them into a star performer before giving them the axe, which is the best way to deal with a DH on the job. Never burn a bridge if you don’t have to, especially if that bridge turns out to be a made man.

the audacious truth

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Sex & Money Go Hand In Hand

Good day peoples,

Today I'm going to discuss something useful: sex and money. Sex and money go hand in hand. Both sex and money are easy to get, but the law doesn't always agree with our methods in getting either one. Both can also be hard to get at times (it's getting tougher and tougher to convince women to jump in the sack with you, and try getting a loan when all your "declared" income is rather below the radar).

The point here is that sex and money go together, like Al Pacino and a gangster movie. Specifically, the more beautiful the girl, the more money you need. Women say they aren't superficial, that money doesn't matter. My ass.

When was the last time you saw some "poor" old guy, with a hot 20-year-old model/chick? Money talks. Do I have to beat it into your head for you to believe me? It's no rocket science, you need cash to get the women. You want a beautiful, sophisticated woman? Start saving for the Mercedes.

money = power = women
 
How you get to the cash (to get the supermodel) is another story. You may not be the greatest looking guy (though you may make up for it by being good, looking elsewhere, or simply being hung like a horse), but you get the women. How? You got cash and you let women know it. You don't have to take out your wallet and show them your platinum card. But you do have to spend big bucks and make yourself known. Women are attracted to guys who have their act together.

One of my favorite movies is Scarface . The movie has some great lines, but the most relevant in this case is, "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women."

Money is like an aphrodisiac and women are drawn to powerful men, men who can take care of their every need.

The Big Boys Know
The "big money" always goes hand in hand with the "big sex." Look at Cape Town, Jo'burg, Hollywood, Vegas, Miami, New York, or any fast life city. How many times have you been at a serious night joint (baller palace),  surrounded by CEOs of serious money making companies? These guys are like kids in a candy store. They get all kinds of loving from a 20-year-old and they turn to jello. And I'm talking about guys who run multi-billion dollar companies, and who lay off thousands of people without blinking.
 
If you have the cash, the chances of you seeing action with the ladies increase. Big-time. Women fall in love with losers when they are 18. When women are older, they don't care about guys who are artists, guys who have hair like shit, guys who are in a rap group, guys who are "finding themselves" (to anyone out there trying to "find themselves," get lost. We have enough idiots in this world).

I'm no scientist or psychiatrist, so don't expect any kind of "scientific proven theory" about what I'm saying. All I'm saying is this: If you don't have money, you won't get the supermodel, the snob, or the sophisticated chick. You'll get the housewife. That isn't so bad because chances are she can cook and clean.
If cooking and cleaning abilities aren't what you look for in women, I suggest you get yourself a real job or grow some balls and start stacking that paper. Capisce!

the audacious truth

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Deal with The Folks

Good day peoples,

Life is about doing what you must: Being a man who understands his responsibilities and obligations to the family and his crew. One of the most common places I see men forget this obligation is when they’re dealing with parents. Fellas moaning about picking their mother up from the eye doctor or bitching that the old man doesn’t know the score, dude!
 
You never neglect your parents. With all the Cousin Steve's and Aunt Mary's on the family tree, your parents are some of the most important. You try and prune those babies off, the whole tree comes tumbling down. Instead of screaming at ma because she asks too many questions and swinging at pops because he’s breaking your balls, you need to settle down. Put everything in perspective; these are your parents. Understood? There are ways of dealing with the dukes.

Maintain the Rituals
Just like your mother used to make a Sunday gravy every week, you need to make the parents part of your weekly ritual. Some older dudes think leaving the parents’ house means leaving for good. But they took care of you, and you'd better take care of them. Stop by and stock the fridge, take in the papers, pick up the tab on a steak once a week. It’s not only your duty, it’s a form of repayment. There is an ongoing thank-you that should always be maintained. And unless you end up rearing a pair of schmucks, your kids will do the same for you. 

Respect the Hierarchy
Just like in the office, there’s a hierarchy within the family. Your parents are the CEOs, and even if their tenure is up, you’re still expected to honour the title. In everybody's line of work, the boss might be sitting crippled on the couch, not even able to draw a burn card from the deck, but he still gets the respect, the hierarchy never dies. And even if your mom and pop's guidance isn’t acted upon, you never dismiss them. Never make them feel like they’ve worn out the titles. You soak in their every word and nod your head. What you do with those words is up to you, but you always nod your head.

End Arguments Respectfully
I’ve seen guys go crazy over arguments with parents; they’re ready to sever all ties over spilled milk. There’s no sense in that. When it comes to your parents, pretty much everything is redeemable. Arguing is going to be inevitable. You get a bunch of people in a room with the same genetics, you'd better believe there are going to be clashes. But whatever the spark that starts the fire, you should always strive to put out the flames quickly. Don’t stay stubborn through six weeks of silence to prove your point. Two weeks, tops.

Acknowledge Their Humanity
Enough of the crybaby mentality -- you know, guys who sit on their shrink’s couch crying about their childhood. It’s tough to be perfect. I’ve never met one person who could do it. And when it comes to parenting, dude, we all have our faults. The sooner you realize your parents are human, with the usual shortcomings, the better you can learn to accept and deal with your parents. Maybe your mother has a tendency to critique, or your father got creative with the belt, don’t begrudge these mistakes. Learn to emulate the good and to correct the bad. And try to keep those belts in their loops.

Guard Your Own Role
Maybe you have a couple of monsters running around the house, maybe you’re expecting or perhaps you’re a long way off. Whichever the case, you need to guard your role as father of your children. Sometimes it’s tough for your parents not to play a parenting role with the grand kids, trying to let you know what’s best. And though you should always respect their direction, you also have to make sure they realize that the torch has been passed. Mom and the old man are perfect for the weekend babysitting, but when it comes to the rearing, you’re now the don of your domain.

Every family is different. I know that. I’ve seen guys treat their parents like strangers, some like friends and others just send them back home (the village). But whichever category you fall under, the general rules of dealing with parents stay true. They’re the ones who got you here, and a real man respects that. If you play your cards right, your commitments come full circle. You’ll reach that age, an old fella with years of parenting under your belt, and those once-little monsters will come through with a Sunday casserole and unconditional respect. That’s a long-term investment worth making. Understood?

the audacious truth

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Movie Lessons: Casino

Good day peoples,

Hope you all well. Today I'm gonna review one of my favourite ganster flicks. Now this flick has a great deal of lessons to learn from and today imma break it down for y'all.

This Week's Ganster Movie lesson
The plot: In Martin Scorsese's brilliant 1995 film Casino, Sam “Ace” Rothstein (Robert De Niro) is a sports handicapper who regularly makes money for the mafia. He’s so good at it, in fact, that when the bosses of the Kansas City organization set up shop in Las Vegas and gain control of a casino, they ask Sam to run it for them. Enter Nicky Santoro (Joe Pesci), Sam’s childhood friend and a notorious wiseguy enforcer. Naturally, he wants an extra piece of the action and uses his connections with Sam to set up his own rackets on the relatively uncharted Las Vegas scene. Of course, everything starts off brilliantly, and the casino is soon turning a profit, pleasing the bosses back home. Things get more complicated when Sam falls in love with Ginger McKenna (Sharon Stone), a seasoned Vegas hustler whom he thinks, once married, he can control and make love him.

All eventually goes sour as relations turn ugly, deception creeps in, intense greed blinds all over those involved, and everything, in turn, gets completely screwed up. So that must mean there are number of lessons to be learned from the actions of the main characters in Casino, right? Exactly, and here they are. 

Lessons Learned 

People Don’t Change
Ginger was a renowned hustler in Vegas for many years before Sam met her. Still, he thought he could change her, and he would end up regretting it. Even though she freely admitted that she didn’t love him, he decided to make her his wife anyway. Anyone could see that Ginger was clearly not wife material. For wiseguys, it’s common to have a wife and a girlfriend. Usually, the wife is the one who stays home, cooks dinner and takes care of the kids. Almost every guy has one, but he also has a goomah. This is the girlfriend, considerably younger and more glamorous, who he’d set up with an apartment and visit when he felt like it. Sam wanted one girl to be both, and he paid for it.

Take Care of Everyone 
Ginger was a master of what Sam calls the Hustler’s Code: “She knew how to take care of people, and that’s what Las Vegas was all about,” he explains. For this reason alone, she was able to get away with her hustling antics at casinos all over the city. She made sure to pay off the people who would allow her to do her thing: the dealers, the pit bosses, the floor managers, and valet parkers.

Keep a Low Profile
When involved in illegal activities, you simply have to fly below the radar. Sam, with his peach leisure suits and brass cigarette holder, definitely did not do this and consequently attracted all kinds of unwanted attention as the real head of the Tangiers Casino, who was supposed to be the squeaky-clean decoy Phillip Green.
 
Kiss the Right Asses
Sam would hate to admit it, but he had to plant a few ass-kisses here and there to ensure the smooth running of his casino. He had the right idea by comping the state politicians and other important figures that came through, even though he despised them for their arrogance and hypocrisy.

Check Your Pride
In an interview for a local newspaper, Sam is goaded by a reported into admitting that he was running the day-to-day operations at the Tangiers Casino, even though this position was meant to be carried out by Green. He easily could have avoided making a statement to this effect, but in truth he wanted people to know that he was running the show. 

Don't Sleep With Your Friend's Wife
If there’s one thing that mob bosses, and most men, don’t put up with, it’s messing around with another man’s wife, especially one who’s in the family. Nicky commits a serious mistake when he begins his affair with Ginger. She knew the power she held over Nicky, which is apparent right from the moment that Sam introduces her to Nicky, and of course she wasn’t afraid to use it to get what she wanted, which is as much of Sam’s money she could get her hands on. Nicky should’ve known better, and would wind up paying the ultimate price for his betrayal.

Foolish Scene
Sam’s major weakness was his vanity. However much he liked to pretend that he was a legitimate businessman, deep down he had to have known that he was very lucky to have gotten away with what he’d been up to. He was, after all, working side by side with the Mafia to illegally skim profits from his casino and help launder their cash. So, when Sam decided to fire his incompetent slots manager, who turned out to be the brother-in-law of the county commissioner, he made a huge mistake by refusing to hire him back. He could have given the idiot a meaningless job in another capacity, but instead chose to make an enemy of the one man who could put an end to the whole operation.

the audacious truth

Friday, July 23, 2010

When Honesty Is The Best Policy

Good day peoples,

Not long ago, I taught you how to use the art of gossip to your utmost advantage. Not surprisingly, I received quite a few angry reactions from some readers claiming that a man shouldn’t have to resort to these levels to get good results. They say that we’re supposed to be men of honour and that we live by the code of trust. True, we have a code, but it’s in place to protect our friends and families, no one else.
 
Sometimes we simply have to bend the rules and, if we don’t, some other dude will come along and beat us to it.  Remember: We’re not here to spread goodwill and win awards. It’s all about the nut, the bottom line, taking care of our families by making money. Of course, there are certain times when we need to be extra careful with our words and actions.
 
In this article, I’ll focus on when honesty is the best policy; pay attention because this is important. Honest.

When You’ve Given Your Word
A true mans word means more than most people can fathom. If he’s promised something and made it clear that he’s given his word, then he can’t really turn around and do the opposite this is an example of when and where honesty is the best policy. To go back on one’s word can have very grave consequences. In fact, heads roll when vows are broken in the world I know. Also, you can forget about ever being trusted again if you squelch on a deal. When you’ve given your word, honesty is the best policy available to you.

When Dishonesty Makes Someone you Respect Look Bad 
Your lies are your own and should never reflect someone else’s image or deeds, particularly one of your colleagues. No one should be accountable for them but you, and if you are willing to tell a lie in order to achieve an end, be prepared to deal with the backlash that comes along with it. Keep in mind that when you speak on behalf of another person or organization, you have an added obligation to be direct and straightforward, this is clearly a time when honesty is the best policy.
 
Also, never do anything that makes your family look bad in the eyes of others. This is the quickest way to earn yourself a world of pain and misery. I’ve said it before: The family should be placed ahead of all else.

When Your Reputation is At Stake
A lie can easily come back to haunt you, so be careful when dealing with people you may work with again. A quick and easy score is never worth your long-term status and future profitability, so don’t jeopardize your position or career by making false claims that won’t go unnoticed.
 
If you do tell a lie in order to get a result and it’s uncovered, you’ll have to deal with all kinds of lingering allegations of corruption as well as a stream of inflammatory comments from others. You really have to weigh the benefits. Is it worth the headache you will likely receive if and when the truth is revealed? This is an instance when honesty is the best policy.

Lying May Not Actually Be Necessary
This happens quite often: One of our friends gets a bit flustered and starts telling lies and digging himself into an even bigger hole. Usually it turns out that if he’d just kept his mouth shut in the first place, he wouldn’t have had to start hitting the mattresses over some beef. When you can choose between outright fabrication and merely denying knowledge of something, this is when honesty is the best policy. Both are dishonest practices, but outright lies are more likely to land you in some serious hot water. Politicians are the true masters of deflecting and evading certain incriminating allegations. Watch them and learn.

the audacious truth

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

An Iron Fist In A Velvet Glove

Good day peoples,

Let’s get right down to business. You’re probably wondering what the title means, an iron fist in a velvet glove. First off, it describes a style of doing or taking care of business. Whether in politics, foreign affairs, business relations, or on the street, a man who hides an iron fist in a velvet glove is a man with the diplomacy and tact to resolve things rationally, and the guts to unleash his iron fist when circumstance demands it.

I’ve got to admit, though, that harnessing power is a tricky thing, especially in a bureaucratic era of “communication strategies” and “research and development” departments. Gone are the days of making quick, cutthroat decisions. Gone are the days of throwing an office tantrum and busting a few chairs in order to get the attention of your office drones. And, perhaps most tragically, gone are the days of pounding an iron fist on your desk and insisting that it’s either your way or the highway.

In short, the days of the stern disciplinarian seem to be numbered. Of course, this doesn’t mean that the vicious iron fist has been put to rest in some museum, it’s just that you can’t always be a war monger. As you, my peoples, must know by now, you can’t just go running around tossing everyone who crosses your path. Severity, after all, is often the simplest way to get things done. Just don’t abuse it so that it loses all impact.

So in this installment, let’s look at an iron fist in a velvet glove.

Diplomacy is a Velvet Glove
To be a good diplomat, it helps if you’ve already established a reputation for diplomacy. Just be careful not to go overboard. Most political diplomats are so bound by their duty to work out compromise that they can never bring the hammer down and call a spade a spade. However, if you know your colleagues and they trust your judgment, you can walk the line between tactful diplomacy and putting your foot down. Persuasive rhetoric and the patient willingness to listen are key tools you should have in your back pocket when mediating or resolving a situation. If this doesn’t work, though, don’t go dragging your story to your supervisor or the human resources department. Sure, these are the people assigned to deal with stalemates, but they’ll just file some paperwork that will get shuffled around and lost. More importantly, if you’ve exhausted every diplomatic angle, the situation now calls for decisive action, and true leadership begins where diplomacy ends.

Communication is a Velvet Glove
It helps to know a bunch of your colleagues, to share stories and wisecracks, to eat with them and keep each other up-to-date. What I mean is that you’re killing yourself and adding to your personal workload if you don’t socialize with the people you see every day. After all is said and done, these are the people who will protect you if they like you, and they’ll expose you or ignore you if they don’t. So talk to them. Encourage their stories and their little tidbits of information. If you gab a little bit, you’ll establish a code of trust between parties. If you don’t, you’ll be out of the loop, on the outside looking in.
 
Reveal the iron fist when: someone betrays your trust. If you’ve established a code of trust and that is broken, it is treason, and that turncoat must pay a price.
 
Flexibility is a Velvet Glove
The next step for the tempered businessman is to be man enough to admit his own mistakes. Even an untouchable godfather is prone to making the odd mistake, so it is important to recognize a mistake early on and then accept responsibility. Despite the error, dealing honorably with the situation will foster respect in colleagues and business partners because they will recognize that the inverse is also true; if you accept your own mistake, it means you’re dead-right the rest of the time. And that, my friends, inspires confidence and builds trust.
 
Reveal the iron fist when: you know damn well you’re right.

Positive Reinforcement is a Velvet Glove 
It’s no secret that most people live dull, boring lives and need a stiff kick in the pants once in a while just to get things in gear. More often than not, the office drone is a drone because his life is about going through the motions, while never standing out from the crowd. So pat the guy on the back once in a while. Tell him he’s doing a bang-up job, even if a trained monkey could replace him with very little decline in productivity. If you can get a smile out of your most apathetic worker, then chances are some of the other ones will have a skip in their step, pleased with that whole “significant contribution” crap you fed them during their last evaluation. Having said all that, don’t make a habit of it. Above all, be fair, but if someone doesn’t respond to your pat on the back, it’s time to bring the hammer down.
 
Reveal the iron fist when: compliments have only stroked your henchman’s ego, instead of motivating him to get it in gear.

Making Money Hand Over Fist
It takes balance to rule with an iron fist in a velvet glove. However, once you find a way to rule gently but firmly, you should very rarely have to reveal that strong iron fist.

the audacious truth

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Securing Your Family Legacy

Good day peoples,

Great sports players secure their legacy when they are voted into the Hall of Fame. It is the highest achievement and mark of a successful career that these great athletes leave behind when they retire. Their goals, touchdowns and game-winning buzzer shots will be honored and remembered forever. But you don’t need to be Michael Jordan or Gary Lineker to secure your legacy. A true man creates a name for himself by creating a strong family legacy. Don’t be forgotten like those other fools. Take control of this aspect of your life so that you can be the one to shape what is written on your tombstone.  Here are a few ways of securing your family legacy.   

Know Where You Come From  
Your roots are the foundation of securing your family legacy. If you don’t know where your ancestors are from, now is the time to find out. With all of the resources available on the internet, there’s no excuse not to take this initiative. However, the simpler thing is to make some time to sit down with your grandparents, great aunts and uncles, and find out the true story behind your family’s ancestry. Honour the customs and nationality of your predecessors just as you want your own children to honor you.   

Have a Kid
Maintaining a family legacy means that you need to start a family. Get busy with your wife, or marry that chick you've been fooling with and consummate, and have a kid or two, especially a son who can literally carry on the family name. It’s not enough to simply pop out a few children, what kind of character will they build if you are never around the house and don’t care about their lives? Be a mentor to them and prepare them to approach work and life with the same respect and enthusiasm that you do. Get involved and help coach your son’s football team and lead it to the finals. Teach him to use his hands and pay his dues by fixing things around the house. Someday he will be passing these same lessons on to his own kids.

Establish a Family Property
One of the greatest family traditions involves passing on an inheritance to your kids and grandkids. It is a symbolic gesture, like turning over the keys of your operation to an employee who will continue to implement your business plan when you decide to retire. Don’t just leave your family your money or a collection of Rolex watches, securing your family legacy means establishing a common meeting place. Invest in a nice cottage up in the country and make sure it stays in the family when you kick the bucket.

Host Family Holidays
When Thanksgiving or Christmas rolls around this year, reach out to your extended family and invite them over to your house to celebrate the holiday. Securing your family legacy means settling any beef you have with those crazy cousins of yours, putting away your pride and focusing on establishing a strong yearly tradition. Bringing together different generations of your family from different cities will only strengthen your ties. Once you’ve established this tradition, don’t cut any corners. Be a generous host and throw lavish reunions that will be remembered and talked about for years to come.

Security You Need 
Follow these steps to securing your family legacy and make your mark on this world. You’ve only got one chance to leave behind a little piece of you when you’re long gone, so give your children and your grandchildren and even your great-grandchildren a family legacy to take pride in.

the audacious truth

Monday, July 19, 2010

Going From Nobody To Somebody

Good day peoples,

Let's face it; even if you're not some egocentric freak job, you want to be a star. Even if it's for a fleeting moment, a few times a year, or every time you get rejected in line at some fancy club with overpriced mojitos, you have, at one point, wanted to be more than Joe Nobody. You wanted to be Joe Somebody, or actually Mr. Joe Somebody.

Start Small, Move Up The Ladder
People nowadays want everything yesterday. Nobody has patience anymore. It's no longer just about instant gratification; it's about instant gratification that someone else works for on your behalf. You can almost never amount to anything in life or appreciate what it is to be a somebody unless you start off as a nobody .

So what if you start at the bottom of the food chain? Seeing things from the ground floor up lets you see what it takes to distinguish yourself from the dudes around you. Don't kid yourself into thinking you can be a success overnight (remember; it takes 10 years to be an overnight success).
 
Let me further illustrate this point by telling you about my a dude called Mikey. Mikey is a fine boy but he has no understanding of the word "patience" or having a good work ethic. He tells me all the time, "Dude, I want the big house with three garages (he actually says tree garages, but I digress), I want the Mercedes, I want the expensive wines..." That's when I pull him by the ears and tell him, "Mikey, outside of these trust-fund idiots, do you see who typically has these things, these fancy cars and large homes? It's fat old f*cks, not young turks. What makes you so special that you can skip steps?"

The concept is easy, boys. All these guys with fancy things? Guess what? It took them a while to get them. First they started with the small house that they paid off and turned into a down payment on a bigger house, which they paid off again to get the big house with the fancy marble walkway. Ever notice the gray hair and potbelly on guys with mansions or in exotic sports cars? Lesson here is, don't expect at 29 what everyone before you got at 59. Understood ? Good. Now on to some practical advice. 

Ways to Becoming Important
There is never one single thing you do that can transform your importance instantly. Even if you are elected president, you get there by climbing the ropes and being different levels of a somebody first. Unlike the movies, no Italian kid, black kid or Hispanic kid is going to get plucked from some slum or ghetto and win the presidential election because he promises voters he is going to "keep it real." So here are several pointers:

1- Get Money
Buy your way into being important. The more money you have, the more people want to lick your ass and the more crap you get for free. Go figure. There is nothing like walking into a place and saying, "I need to spend a lot of money," to get you noticed. But this is fleeting importance and having cash isn't enough to make you a permanent somebody.

2- Have Street Cred 
Once you are made or even if you are associated with a crime Family, you are a somebody. Having a reputation on the streets helps, how you go about it is a whole other article.

3- Make a big move
There is nothing like a big move to get you noticed. Whether it's a big fraud, a large merger or an important speech, you can climb up the significance ladder pretty quickly by doing something that will be archived in the history books (whether it's the ones that get stored in a library or in the CID's private collection of mug shots).

4- Be an expert
Everyone always needs the opinion of other people. Even I could admit when derivative pricing models theory is above my head. I have to call a schmuck who can tell me what the hell that is. But when I call, I want to call the best because I know the best knows what he is doing and how he can help me before I even open my mouth. It's not enough to be an authority on something, you have to be the authority to get recognized. So instead of being satisfied as a regular lawyer, accountant, computer geek, whatever, be the best in your field. Have some trait that is exclusive to you and don't be a generic idiot like most people.

5- Take risks
This is hit and miss, but in life, certain risks pay off. There are too many examples of things you can do, I'm not going to waste my time listing them, but just remember that very rarely do guys like Harry "The Boring Office Clerk" make it big.

6- Have a Spiel
You want to get noticed? You want to stand out from the crowd? Have some unique "thing" people remember you by. It could be a unique look (none of that earring or dyed hair crap though), a unique way of talking, a smirk, a gesture, whatever. Have something that makes you different, an original spiel that's your calling card. Like if you live in I don't know Texas, be a white guy with brown hair and you'll stand out among the blond cowboys all around you. In Miami, be the only guy that wears black day and night, and doesn't know a word of Spanish. Throw in a British accent or something for good measure. The point is be quirky, be eccentric, have a presence, but don't look like a fool.

7- Have a Lady With Significance
It's amazing what having the right woman on your arm can do for you. Have some cursing, low-rate chick at your side who looks like she just stepped off a zombie movie set and you'll get one kind of reaction. Have a classy, sophisticated, cultured woman whose self-confidence makes your own back straighten up (I bet you all just straightened your backs), and you will win by association. After all, the latter kind of ladies are in high demand; if she is with you then it means you got something, that others don't.

8- Talk to People
Be connected doesn't hurt. The more people you know, the more people you have conversations with, the more you can open doors for yourself or others. Don't be a Rolodex whore who collects business cards like a bum collects tin cans, but be someone who talks to people with a hidden agenda and stays in touch. A rainmaker of sorts. Be the guy that gets things done. Be Joe, the guy that knows this guy or that guy. That sort of thing.

9- Have Power
This is the most obvious way to become a somebody . But accumulating power isn't straightforward. Having a position that inherently has power attached to it is the easiest way to go. Being the CEO of a company, a big-shot consultant, a mayor of a major town, a college dean, the boss of a gang, a bank manager, whatever, all of that helps. But you already have to be a somebody to get to those positions. So place yourself into positions where you can wield power and influence and inevitably the rest will follow.

Hang Out With Power
There are other things you can do too, but they are all gimmicks that have a fleeting effect. For example, being the leader of some posse can make you feel important, but if your "crew" is full of rejects from the Love Connection , how does that help you?
 
It all comes down to doing a combination of the nine things I mentioned before. Some are more effective than others, some bring immediate results, some are part of a long-term plan.

In the end, being a somebody isn't all it's cracked up to be (people always want a piece of you, you become a bigger target for your enemies), but it doesn't suck. Especially when you don't have to pretend you're some neurosurgeon anymore.

Watch your backs and keep your noses clean.

the audacious truth

Friday, July 16, 2010

Street Lessons For Life

Good day peoples,

The world ain't fair. It ain't nice. Nobody cares if you get stiffed, if your feelings get bruised or how hungry you are. Everybody's trying to get a piece of the action, trying to survive. It helps to have to have connections, but the street is equally cruel to everyone.
 
Over the years, mostly through mistakes, you may have learned a few things. You can learn a lot from books, but it's not always enough. Remember though that nothing educates you the lumps you get on the streets.

Life is like the street. When you're feeling strong, you can't understand why other guys have so many problems. A few years later, you can be moving along fine, still feeling strong, only to be ambushed by one of a million things: family, work, health, divorce, tainted spinach, whatever. Some of these things you'll learn the hard way, but you shouldn't have to. If you're smart, you'll put these rules to use before you look back and wish you had.   
 

Keep Your Guard Up
Some guys are like little dogs: all bark and no bite. However, all of their empty threats can soften you up for the real thing. I saw this happen to a friend of mine. Once, this scrapper made a threat and nothing happened. Time went by and he threatened again. Both times, my friend was ready for the dude, but by the third time, he thought the kid was an empty suit, all talk. He was wrong. The minute you let your guard down, you get burned. 

Stay Out of Arguments
If two guys get in a twist and can't settle their dispute, you will eventually be asked to choose sides. Don't charge in like a sap, wait until they've worn themselves out. Getting in a fight that isn't your own is useless; it serves no purpose. Once they are exhausted, you can ride in fresh on the winning side, crush the loser, and look like a hero.     

Meet Only When Necessary
One thing we hate to do on the street is have a sit down discussing solutions to issues. When a dude in your crew asks to meet, make sure he is prepared. If there is a meeting, there should be a decision. A meeting that simply serves to schedule another meeting is useless. Meetings are necessary, but not every three days. I often wonder: Do some guys just enjoy meetings? I thought broads did that. 

Getting to know a lot of people is a good thing. In business, you can't be chummy with flatfoots, but you still like to know what’s going on. Try to have connections with every spent cop and conman because they might become resources to me someday. Knowing a person doesn't mean you must disclose anything to him. By the way, it helps to actually be interested, too. You can't ask someone, "How'd the operation go?" and then act like you don't care. Having a lot of friends and acquaintances not only creates opportunities, it also allows you to gather information for your own ventures.  

Don't Be Too Proud to Retreat
If you face a situation that you cannot win, do not fight merely on principle.  Saying "I've never backed down from anybody" sounds good, but some outcomes have long-lasting effects. Pompey didn't have to fight Caesar, but he did. Guess who won? Strategy is as important as bravery. Don't be a fool and take a swing just because you've been invited. Backing down can ultimately allow you to win. Run away, go into witness protection; sorry to say it, but retreat is sometimes a necessary evil.

Street Smarts
Tomorrow, you'll be on the streets once again, learning everything the hard way and hoping your kid doesn't have to do the same. There's no cure for this thing called life, so it's best to learn certain things early on. Nothing can truly prepare you for it, but if you keep your head on a swivel, you'll suffer fewer "unfair" surprises. 

the audacious truth

Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Audacious Truth Hit List

Good day peoples,
Before you go assuming this is a list of people I’d like to dispose of, it isn’t. This hit list is about types of people who disrupt the smooth flow of business. Naturally, every successful organization relies on quality people to get things done. And for the most part, if your organization recruits well and provides its workers with a clear job description that fits their skill set, you shouldn’t run into too many problems. Having said that, there are a lot of fools out there, and every once in a while, they’ll slip through the cracks. Idiots, though, are pretty easy to deal with. The bigger problem is the type of person who wants to deliberately interfere with your operation. To look into these problems, here is Audacious Truth hit list.

Rats and Moles
You’ve no doubt seen that film Donnie Brasco about the crooked mole Joe Pistone who infiltrated the Bonanno family. Well, moles like Joe Pistone are as bad for business as rats. The difference between rats and moles, though, is that rats have sworn an oath of silence, and by breaking that oath, they prove themselves to be the scum of the earth. This is why they’re called rats, and like a dirty alley rat that scavenges for garbage, they spread disease across the land like a rampant plague.
 
Moles, on the other hand, operate under a different code of conduct, so although they’re a dangerous nuisance, at least they aren’t committing greedy treason by invading your ranks and reporting back to the authorities...

Empty Suits
Empty suits are those guys who stand around twiddling their thumbs and chewing stuff instead of doing something useful. Unlike earners who make money for their organization, an empty suit may hang around because of family ties or because he has pulled the wool over someone’s eyes. In other words, the empty suit is a waste of time because he has nothing to offer the business, and therefore he makes the Audacious Truth hit list. Not only does this make him a burden to the organization, but it likely means someone useful once got fired for bringing someone so useless on board as well.

Blow-Hards
A blow-hard is someone who compensates for their lack of insight by speaking at full volume all the time. A blow-hard is usually shameless and refuses to accept responsibility for the mistakes he makes. And it is this last quality of stubbornness that makes blow-hards so reckless and dangerous. Like any business, your organization cannot afford to be reckless. Sure, there are a few Joe Pesci like characters who come along and are able to back up their reckless tongue with equally reckless violence. Such characters are, of course, viewed with both admiration and fear since they are infinitely valuable while also a permanent threat.

However, these Pesci-like characters are few and far between. More often than not, blow-hards don’t have the balls to be tough guys, while tough guys don’t have the wit to be funny guys. What’s always better is to have a few low-profile storytellers who keep the guys loose, and a few tough guys who keep their mouths shut.

Brown-Nosers
On both sides of the law, you’re bound to find a whole whack of brown nosing ass kissers. That’s right: In case you’d never thought about it, their noses are brown precisely because they’ve gone so far past begging that they’ve turned into animals that suck up in order to get ahead. However, this is something you deal with. And you deal with it because it’s a fairly small yet inevitable price to pay for running ship like a hierarchy, in other words, any operation that has a solid power structure will have its share of brown-nosers. My advice is to have a little fun at the expense of such shameless lackeys. All you have to do is point out an ass-kisser's behavior when a few people are around. By so doing, you’ll remind everyone that you don’t need to sink to their level.

Braggers/Motormouths
There’s a big difference between storytellers and motormouths. Storytellers have a gift and they choose their details wisely. Motormouths are those guys who think out loud and constantly seek approval. In other words, they brag about every little thing, which also what prevents them from doing anything of consequence. Hence, I put them on the Audacious Truth hit list.
 
If you’re the type of dude that needs a pat on the back for getting a girl in the sack, it means you’re not getting much action so you feel insecure until someone hears you shoot your mouth off. If, on the other hand, you check in and out of bed as often as a traveling salesman, then you’ve probably got a story or two that’s worth telling.

Guidos
A few years back, I knew this guido who was driving me home after a night out. Now this guy, acted like a tough guy, full of attitude with super black hair and a different track suit for every day of the week. So anyway, we’re driving down the highway when we run into a road block and the police pull us over for no good reason. However, this guido wasn’t too smart. The policeman comes up to his window and asks for his license and car papers.Guido, instead of playing it like a champ, says to the cop, “You, you got a warrant?” Of course, this try-hard gangster was as clean as a nun’s you-know-what, but after that, he looked as guilty as sin and the whole thing ended in a whole lot of trouble for me. The moral of the story, then, is that guidos are usually just not worth the trouble.

the audacious truth

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

You Screwed Up, Now Fix It

Good day peoples,

Everybody screws up right? You. The Pope. Your cousin Larry. Everyone has had to clean up a mess that they created or that somehow fell into their laps. Forget the fact that if you've been reading my articles until now, you'd never screw up in the first place and be a first class fool. I consider your reading this like a confession to a priest. It's a chance for you to repent, admit your mistakes, and ask for redemption.

But chances are that despite my advice, many out there are still amateurs in life, so they're still going to make mistakes an idiot makes. Sometimes those mistakes are the size of an concealable zit, and then you need more than that good old common sense.

So now listen up and learn how to clean up a screw-up (and when you're done, go read the rest of my articles so you'll never have a mess on your hands in the first place).

What is A Mess?
Okay, so let's define a mess. I know most of you have seen the movie Pulp Fiction, where that guy Winston Wolf cleans up the mess of the two fools who can't control their piece. The mess? Well, they had a guys' brains splattered across the backseat of a car, and a nice spritz of blood on the windscreen.
The Wolf, through curt, controlled decisions, got rid of the body and had the car magically cleaned. He is a specialist and a professional who recognizes a) the screw-up; b) the situation and its consequences, and; c) a solution.

So we aren't all going to have a dead guy in the backseat of our cars, but you don't need an untimely death in order to find yourself in a "hot" situation. A mess is any kind of mistake that makes your sweat glands work overtime, and your heart beat like you had Beyonce on your lap, the kind of mistake that can permanently affect your reputation, your health, your wealth, or your freedom. Get it genius?

Small vs. Big
Now, before we roll up our sleeves and look at cleaning up, let's separate the big from the small. Small problems like losing money in the stock market and giving your mistress your wife's cell phone number are inconsequential. Be a man and deal with it, don't go looking for a cement truck to plug a leaking roof.

A big problem occurs when you lose someone else's money in the stock market, or your wife gives your hooker your cell phone number.

If a problem affects you and you alone, and doesn't implicate anyone else (your wife don't count), it's a small problem. If a problem affects you and another person, their money, their reputation, or their well-being, then you've got a big problem.

Be Like Ice
Once you realize that you've been an idiot and made a mistake or faux-pas (I knew that French mama would give me something), the most important thing to do is remain cool as ice. Don't panic. Stay calm. Do that yoga crap if you have to. What's vital is that you remain in control of the situation, whatever it is.

More often than not, you are going to have to take care of the mess yourself. Why? Because involving anyone else usually creates more problems than solutions. The more people involved in fixing your little "situation," the more witnesses there are, the stupider the decisions, the more hands and brains you are going to need to keep everyone in check.

That is, if the problem can be handled by you. Use your judgment boys, you know when you need some outside help and when you can handle something yourself. If you do need to make that phone call, make sure you call upon an associate or a member of your crew. You have to trust whoever helps you 100%. If you are willing to lend this guy lumps of cash then he passes the trust test (unless you're a moron of course).

The Facts
Before you start the clean-up process, make sure you get all your facts straight. Analyze the situation (write things down if you have to, because we know how forgetful people are), look at all the angles, all the parties involved, who knows what, who will react in what way, who is trouble, problems that could creep up during the clean-up, and any dangers you face before the clean-up (you don't have time to worry about the consequences if your clean-up screws up).

Then make sure you examine a couple of possible ways to repair your predicament. Look at each way out, its strengths and weaknesses. Make sure you choose the best possible resolution. Just don't pull a Moses and take 40 years to make up your mind. Time is always of the essence. Whatever way you choose to clean up, make sure it permanently eliminates your dilemma, understood?

Execution
Yes, it's all about execution. And if you think I'm talking about being whacked, then you deserve to be executed. Once you are calm and in control, have the necessary outside help, know the facts, looked at different solutions, and chose a course of action, then it's time for the most important part of the clean-up: implementing and executing the plan.

Like I said before, time is of the essence, so leave your morals at Bible school and do what you have to. This has nothing to do with being honorable, this has to do with insuring that your biggest worry later on is being honorable. Stick to your plan, be detached, and stay focused, logical and meticulous. And of course execute, or be screwed, figuratively or otherwise.

the audacious truth

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Habits That Destroy You

Good day peoples,

Hope all of you have been well. As it's evident I've been out of sight for a while but I'm back now with a lot to dish out. All in all enjoy the read.

We all have weaknesses. It's only natural, we're primitive beasts called men. We all have that one soft spot that goes against all the common sense, logic and experience we've gathered. Such a weakness can get us into trouble, and can cause us to lose credibility and respect.

That weakness can be a fondness for alcohol, a love of illicit drugs, a gambling habit, an inability to control your debts, being unreliable, an incapability to keep your mouth shut, having a sex addiction, or being a brute. I'm not immune. I do have habits that won't destroy me and some that could do so. I especially keep my "weaknesses" away from my work, so that the two never cross paths. So I have some habits, some bad, some good, but now I'm smart enough to know when a habit gets out of control and has the potential to wipe me out. Some people can't make that distinction, so this article is for you.

Sign of Weakness
A bad habit proves you have weaknesses and a lack of discipline in some aspects of your life. How that habit controls your life shows how disciplined you are. But we can't get away from the fact that you are still weak and vulnerable in one area of your life. I've covered the dangers of appearing weak before. Having the appearance of weakness makes you a target for your enemies. They have found a loophole in getting to you. By having a bad habit that can destroy you, you open yourself to being exploited. Bad habits also affect your reputation.

When you lose control (i.e. you can't help but gamble when you hear the faintest sound of cards shuffling), it takes a toll on your reputation too, you are seen as fallible and a potential liability. You don't want anyone to think you're unreliable and unsavory, putting doubts in people's minds about your reputation is bad for business and social life. It also has a snowball effect.

Breaking Down the Habits
 
Alcohol: Booze can go from a nice accompaniment to a meal to controlling everything you do. All it takes is one moment with the wrong alcohol, at the wrong place, and at the wrong time to open your mouth and say things that will haunt you for a lifetime. Then you'll have a real reason to drink. Recovering from the damage to your rep caused by the bottle can take years my friend.

Drugs: Like alcohol, they make you lose control, logic and reason. Unlike alcohol, they can be a more expensive habit and unlike being found face first in a pool of your own vomit, you end up in jail for dealing or doing the junk. Drugs screw with your brain, which is why the cocaine lords in Colombia don't touch their own supply. Like alcohol, by the time it's doing you enough harm to destroy your life, you'll be too souped up to do anything about it.

Gambling: The problem with gambling is that it doesn't take long for your gambling debt to eventually land in the hands of people you don't want knowing your name. You become known as a degenerate and you add no value to your life. In fact, you end up destroying everything of value in your life because the vig is so high, you can't help but sell off your liver to pay off the juice. Debt is a great way to destroy even the strongest of men.

Sex addiction: When your penis is making decisions your brain should be making, it's inevitable that you'll make an ass out of yourself. Sex and an addiction to women can cloud your judgment, make you easily influenced by a pair of T&A, and eventually burn associates who will look at your obsession with the opposite sex as a good scapegoat to screwing you over, or questioning your decisions and rationale.

Being a big mouth: Not being able to keep your hole shut can be a very nasty habit. Not only do you risk saying things you shouldn't, wrecking your reputation or being perceived as untrustworthy, you can screw someone up the asshole pretty badly. That could cost you big time.

Getting Over Bad Habits

Look, I'm no therapist over here, but there are some things you can do to get rid of the bad habits. I know it's not easy, I know it takes time, willpower, love, hugs, and a good shot across the head, but be a man, grow some balls, and get it done. Trust me.


1- Be Aware of Your Problem
If you are getting beaten up, losing your friends, end up in the hospital more times than Michael Jackson, max out your credit cards, or are always told what a jerk-off you are, maybe it's time for you to go up a hill for a few hours to get some perspective on your life. If you can't see that something is wrong, you're hopeless. If you need people to point out your stupidities, you have no chance unless you act bro. Either open your eyes or get out of town, literally.

2- Be Disciplined, Not Half-Assed
If you don't put all your effort into coming correct, you're doomed to fail. Like anything in life, things done half-heartedly end up being sloppy, inferior, and prone to breaking under minimal stress. Don't be a fool, don't waste your time, own up to your faults, and change .

3- Change Your Circle of Friends

Unfortunately, too often we are a product of our environment, and if that environment is rotten, guess what happens to you? Stop hanging out with losers and people that are a negative influence. If they don't add value to your life, they are sucking it away. Friends either help or hurt, otherwise they are just strangers. Anyone that purposely got out of the business is not going to get too far by hanging out with guys still in the business, is he?

4- Sabotage Yourself
Sometimes, we need the crap beaten out of us for the truth to sink in. Sometimes we need to be taught a tough lesson in order to learn. So maybe you need to set yourself up for some severe consequences that will scare you halfway to Bangkok to get your life back on track. Turn yourself in, rat on someone, screw with the wrong guy's wife; do whatever it takes for you to hit rock bottom and wake up.

Zero Sum Game

Like every bad habit, you are essentially playing poker with your life. Your bad habit makes you happy, it brings you a little bit of a thrill, you can feel like a winner after, but it can also screw you six ways to Wednesday (and to a back room for a beating, heavy knuckles). In the end, you have to ask yourself if the pleasure of the habit outweighs the risk it poses to the rest of your life, and take your chances if it does. As much as I love what I love, honestly, it's a zero sum game.

Control your bad habits or, better yet, get rid of them. We're human and we're imperfect. It doesn't take much for a vice to highlight those imperfections, so why not do something about it? Capisce ? Watch your backs and keep your noses clean.

the audacious truth