Keeping Women In Check

Most men complain their whole lives about being controlled by women (or at least not being able to understand them). So, to all you dudes complaining about women, pay attention and I’ll give you some pointers on what roles the females in your life should play and what you gotta do about keeping women in check.

The Wife
When it comes to your wife, the way you keep her in check is making sure she doesn’t know what goes on in your work. There are several reasons why you don’t want her to know all your little secrets. First, if you married the woman, she is probably the love of your life and mother of your kids, so the last thing you want to do is strain your relationship by letting her know about all your peccadilloes that might cause her to lose respect for you. Secondly, when it comes to competitors, the best way to get at your rival or enemy is to go after their woman. If you keep your wife out of your business life, you are keeping her from being leverage against you. You need to explain to her that there will be times you can’t tell her where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing. If she understands the reasoning behind it, she won’t bust your balls every time you come home late. She’ll understand her role and yours, and everything will go smoothly. And if she doesn’t… well, then you’re not keeping women in check.

The Side Dish
When it comes to a mistress, make sure she understands the nature of your relationship up front so you don’t have to deal with unexpected drama later. Frankly, you shouldn’t have to explain it to her, she’s a side dish, plain and simple. This woman's place is not in your personal life. She doesn’t need to know anything about you, and the less she knows about you, the better. The moment she starts expecting more than dinner, dates and occasional gifts from you is the moment you gotta put her in her place or find a new broad, understood?

The Daughter
Daughters are their father’s pride and joy so long as they behave properly. If you try keeping women in check, especially daughters, and they don’t behave properly, they’ll become your worst nightmare. Teach them respect first and foremost. Keep your daughter in check by making sure she always shows proper respect where it’s due. If she doesn’t, you gotta take the time to be a father and put her in her place. Don’t be the fool that has a wild daughter he can’t control. Teach her modesty and strictly hold her to respectable behavior. You want her to be smart, talented and eventually wife material for the right guy.

Keeping women in check concerns all the women in your life -- read on for more women you should keep in line...

The Movie Lessons: Scarface

Good day peoples,

Today i'm gonna explore a whole other angle and will be doing so occasionaly. We all love the classic flicks and what we draw from them so this week's movie lesson is the legendary Scarface.

The plot was set in in 1980 where 125,000 Cuban refugees fled to the U.S. to find a better life. And for one of the refugees named Tony Montana, nothing will satisfy but the world and everything in it. Along with his good friend Manny, Tony starts doing dirty work for a Miami drug kingpin named Frank Lopez. After escaping a gang of double-crossing Columbians and a chainsaw, Tony’s raw and determined spirit wins Frank’s respect and employ. After Tony makes a cocaine deal with a Bolivian drug lord behind his back, Frank foils an attempt to rub out the scar-faced Cuban, which leads to his demise. With Frank out of the way, Tony marries his girlfriend Elvira and starts to build the largest drug empire in the southeast. But once reaching the top, Tony soon finds his world sailing to the bottom after losing his wife, his sister, his friend, and ultimately his life.

Don’t Mince Words
People these days use a lot of verbal filler. Yet, when you say what you mean and are sincere, people will trust you more and will want to do business with you. Mincing words shows that you aren’t decisive and are just trying to say what the other side wants to hear. Be direct in conversation. This will show respect and honesty, which are two characteristics of a stand-up man.

Seize Opportunities
Every missed opportunity holds you back, so you have to be vigilant and willing to move on any potential occasion. Scarface will teach you that the best opportunities are usually the ones that pop up unannounced. Knowing a good deal from a rotten egg isn’t a skill that you’ll acquire overnight. It takes practice and experience. Just know this, it’s better to shoot and miss than to never pick up the gun at all.

Bite The Bullet
As Tony said in Scarface, you only have two things in this world: Your word and your balls, and you shouldn’t break them for anybody. Honoring commitments will put you on the fast track when it comes to getting on top. Don’t make deals if you can’t follow through. Even if something doesn’t go the way you plan while fulfilling an obligation, bite the bullet and finish the job. If things change, you shouldn’t be the one to change them. Know your place in the operation and complete the task given to you.

When To Hire A Woman

Good day peoples,

There’s a feminist movement of sorts in the many countries, as many women take over the family business and become succesful bosses. These woman top dogs are hitting the streets with vengeance with their ruthless management styles. I’ve seen female leaders who’ve been somewhat qualified for an executive position, but even Margaret Thatcher couldn’t them. If the new breed of Darling Dons can teach us anything, perhaps it’s that women do have some relevance in the workplace.

I’m not a sexist pig, but I refuse to buy into the whole notion that women and men should be treated the same, mostly because they share some clear differences. That being said, I think it’s time to concede there are instances when women might add a little to the work environment. Inspired by the ladies of my family and other sucees African stories, here are some instances of when to hire a woman.

The Soft Sell and Powers of Persuasion
A good salesman can sell sand to the Arabs, and an even better salesman can sell it at 20% above the market value. However, sometimes men take the seller’s pitch a little too literally, and the “hard sell” turns into an even harder sale. Before you know it, you have a fleet full of trashy dudes who are turning the joint into a used car yard. When this happens, it might not hurt to hire a woman.

Women have a knack for the soft sell, which is precisely why it might be good to hire a woman. It’s not an in your face approach, but a more persuasive and charming tactic. You’ve seen this when buying the wife a new dress or a round of drinks for a hopeful companion’s entire posse. Yes, this persuasive power can translate to the workplace, but don’t go replacing all the salesmen with saleswomen. Even a used car yard is better than a hair salon.

Cut-Throat Competition
In a male-dominated workforce, occasionally the employees will get too buddy-buddy, stifling internal competition. I’ve had times, though I was quick to kibosh them, when the men in my workplace, earlier job i had, thought I was running a summer camp they were more concerned with their “bromances” than their career paths.

If you want to turn these dudes into a bullpen of workers eager to succeed, and not a pledge class begging to do the elephant walk together, add the right woman to the mix. Add a competitive mama hoping to prove she’s “not just another woman.” When you hire a woman like this, she’ll be a pain, complaining about inequalities, looking to stage a bra burning protest in the conference room, but it’ll be sure to keep the men on their toes. Your once sluggish workforce will make sure the new girl on the block doesn’t reach the next pay grade before they do.

Charm

Good Day Peoples,


Hope the weekend was fruitful for every body. Here's a little something to get you all through the day and end it with a more positive note. I embrace all that I'm gonna share with ya'll.

Call it what you want, personal magnetism, charisma, chutzpah, or allure but it’s something every man wants and very few actually have, charm. Some think that you’re either born with it or you’re not. And while it’s true that some of us ooze the stuff without even having to try, for others it’s a quality that can be learned, so pay attention and I’ll tell you how.

I consider myself as always being a charming devil, you my readers know that. It goes back to my school days when I was a little crazy kid, and no matter how naughty I was, I could always count on my charm ability to make the adults smile, ruffle my hair and send me on my way. This is because even then I knew about the importance of charm.

In fact, charm is such a powerful tool that it is sought after by virtually everyone. Politicians, actors and businessmen have all craved it (and so have many others). This is because, once you’re equipped with a degree of charm, you’ll find that you can open doors that would otherwise remain closed.
So how do I get it, you ask? Here are seven tips to help you get started:

Remember and Use Peoples' Names
This lets people know they are important enough for you to have remembered them, and it makes them feel special. You might think it’s a very minor thing to do but, really, you’d be amazed at the number of people you can win over just by using their first name. But, be careful not to use it too much or you may come across like a used car salesman.

Project Confidence
The truly charming simply exude poise and grace, so keep in mind that the way others see you often says more than the words you utter. First impressions are paramount, and if you want to be taken seriously, you must have good posture. Unlike the fairy tales you read or the bad movies you watch, hunchbacks and slouches never end up saving the day or getting the girl.

Be A Good Listener
Ask plenty of questions in social situations, especially with people you have just met. It shows that you are interested in others and, in turn, they will find that endearing. If you try too hard to be the center of attention, people won’t find you charming, just annoying.

When To Check Your Pride

Good Day Peoples,

Something they don’t teach you in the streets is the “when” and the “where” to maintain your composure. As much as there is a time to stand up for yourself and hold your ground, there is also a time to concede a little gravitas. If some clown is making an attempt on your reputation, you have a right to call 'em out. However, heed this warning: Your pride can be as much of a blessing as it is a curse. Take a deep breath and reflect upon a situation before making any rash decisions. Would you take a crack at building a house without looking at the blueprint first? When dealing with certain people, it’s better to act instead of react. So here’s how to know when to check your pride or not.

When There’s Rewards To Be Had
The workplace: Like it or not, success in life was conceived here. Unless you want to grind it out day in and day out to make ends meet, I suggest you stick with the programme and do your job without complaining. Hey, I understand your pain. Everybody wants to be his own boss, it’s human nature, but sometimes you gotta know when to check your pride and bow down to those with the power to make or break you. Recessionary times call for recessionary measures. If your boss asks you to do some BS busy work, don’t protest like a little child. Lose your pride for a moment, wait in line for your promotion and stick it to the man when you’re on top. A better paycheck and respectable title are closer than you may think.

When You’re Fighting A Battle You Can’t Win
It seems like everybody’s using this phrase these days: don’t bring a knife to a gunfight. Maybe it’s a bit cliche, but it still rings true, especially when you’re on the job. Have you ever found yourself on the wrong end of an argument with your coworkers that you know you can’t win? Try to be agreeable and don’t force your agenda if all its gonna do is make you look like a proud little girl. Be man enough to admit you’re not always right and you’ll save some embarrassment.

While Dealing with Family
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times, Nothing is more important than family. You may have your differences, and guess what? I bet most of the time you’re on the right side of the debate. However, some relationships are more important than your pride, and this is true while dealing with your family. If you want to know one instance of when to check your pride, it’s when dealing with family.

Never Forget Mother's Day

Good Evening Peoples,

Hope all's been well. Today's topic is from the heart as it always is. An important day passed and I realized that a bunch of us men gave little regard to it. Gentlemen, as you all know, Mother's Day was just around the corner. For those of you who forgot, this is the day to honour the woman that brought you into this world. Since everyone knows how much sons love their mamas, I feel it is my duty to write this piece, so pay attention.

 

Mothers: Unsung Heroes

Mothers Day is the time to recognize our mamas as the unsung heroes of our society. My grandmother once told my mother, "From the day your child is born to the day you die you will never stop worrying." Now that is what I call pressure. Most of us can barely stand worrying about ourselves, imagine having to worry about three other people too.

It is often said that a mother holds an intimate, inexplicable bond with her child. When her child feels pain or joy, so too does she. The path of motherhood is not an easy one, and the women that chose this path should be commended; they have chosen a road filled with hardships that we men will never fully comprehend. 

Mothers: Lifelong Dedication

From the day her child is born to the day she dies, a mother will laugh, cry, ache, and ultimately feel what her child feels. As men, we don't understand this very well, however, it is crucial for understanding our mothers. Although our society increasingly shuns the role of a mother, I am not about to dismiss the idea that mothers are at the center of families. A mother is the glue that holds a family together. Mothers don't get the credit or respect they deserve these days, so, show her some love on Mother's Day, dude.

African Mother

Of course, being African just about assures that I love my mother and that I would do just about anything to help her out. I'm a mama's boy, you got a problem with that? I didn't think so. But the love and respect I have for my mama is not blind. She has earned it through blood, sweat and tears. She has earned it through countless nights by my side when I was feeling ill. She has earned it through the innumerable evenings and weekends spent taking my siblings and me to all sorts of events. She has earned it by living less large so she could put her kids through school. Of course, my father had a lot to do with that too, but he'll get his turn on Father's Day.

She has earned it through self-sacrifice; some mother would go one week without food so that their child could eat one meal. She has earned it through her strength as a person. When she was sick, depressed or tired, she did her best to not let it show and still took care of us. She didn't burden us with the pressures of the outside world. She carried those pressures, her pressures, our pressures and the family's pressures, on her back the whole time. She didn't complain, fuss or make a big deal about it; that is what a good mother does. And a great, hold on, extraordinary, mother she is.

She taught me fortitude in the face of hardships, courage in the face of downfalls, confidence and strength in the face of adversity, humility in the face of achievement, perseverance in the face of failure, and pride in the face of a job well done. My mum taught me a lot more things, but I can only write so much. I'm sure you all get the idea (for those of you who don't, why don't you check in to the local guest for a permanent stay?).

Family Is Key

Our was not always rich, we never had a brand new Benz parked in the house garage; come to think of it.   At the center of it all was my mama. I'm not trying to sound sappy here, boys, but I must give credit where credit is due. From birth to adulthood, my mother nurtured me and to this day I do not think I'll be able to repay my mama for all that she has done for me. But I can assure you, guys, of one thing: I will try hard and you should all do the same.

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers!

Watch your back, boys, and keep your noses clean.

the audacious truth

Should You Vouch For Anyone

Good day peoples. It's been a long minute since I last graced you with my thoughts. I'm back now so here goes:

Do you know the difference between a "friend of mine" and a "friend of ours"? If you're not up to date on your Sopranos lingo crap, I'll clue you in Sherlock. A friend of mine is someone I know and do business with, and who I will vouch for as trustworthy for you to do business with as well. A friend of ours is someone who is part of my other Family, who is in La Cosa Nostra , you know, a wiseguy. Vouching for him goes without saying.

What do they have in common? In both cases, when you are speaking on their behalf, you are giving your personal seal of approval and your assurances that he is the guy. You are essentially saying, "I know this guy. I trust this guy. He's like my brother and you can trust him, too. I give you my word. I give you a money back guarantee, if he screws up, you can take it out on me.

Whether you realize it or not, when you vouch for someone, you're also taking responsibility for anything that goes wrong, as if you're co-signing a loan for someone. Now, you wouldn't co-sign a loan for a degenerate fool, would you? So you shouldn't vouch for anyone who will make you look bad.

WHO SHOULD YOU VOUCH FOR?

This is the million dollar question, who deserves your putting your reputation on the line? If you tell me "everyone I surround myself with, I would vouch for," I'll slap you across the head three ways to tomorrow. You should be able to count on one hand the amount of people you would go the whole nine yards for. There is only a handful of people I would trust with my life and my rep.

A man you vouch for has to be beyond reproach, beyond corruptibility, beyond being careless, and your faith in his abilities to deliver an end product has to be unquestionable. Anyone you vouch for, you have to have some kind of history with. You need a track record with that person because only time and opportunities allow you to see if your good buddy is a good buddy under any and all circumstances.

Like I said before, when you vouch for someone, you have to ask yourself: "Would I give this guy my bank account number and trust that he'll never steal from me? Trust, reliability, responsibility, and accountability are all traits of someone you want to vouch for. But nothing beats the test of time and the test of having been around the block with a guy a few times.

Even if a guy is reliable in business, if he's useless in his personal life, it won't take long for the apple to fall from close to the tree, or whatever that goddamn expression is. Eventually the "stupid" gene spills over into his business life. I've heard of many stories and personally done plenty of business with guys like this, but I have never given anyone reassurances about them.

CAN YOU VOUCH WITHOUT VOUCHING?

Because the number of people you'll give your bank account number to is limited to one hand, and since there are plenty of other good people you know, but not well enough to vouch for, you have to come up with some middle-ground solution. If you need to do a "quasi-vouch," always qualify it. Tell whomever that you have no complaints about the person but you can't put your reputation on the line...